Greer's Ramblings

The Primrose, May 2009

This month my ramblings will be more mental than physical. Fear not, dear reader. I have been getting out and about, and very much enjoying my opportunities to do so. However, none of my travels over the last few weeks have been such that I can generate 2,000 words to describe them. At least not 2,000 words that you would want to devote time to reading. Of course there is the question of why you would ever want to devote time to my rambling words, but we shall save the discussion of such mental aberrations for another time. For now, let us ramble through some random thoughts together. Do be sure to watch your step, avoid steaming divots, mind the gap, don’t run in the parking lot, and keep your arms and legs inside while the ramble is in motion.
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The April business meeting of CGS saw the annual exercise of democracy in action. While my membership in CGS began just before the 2008 election, I was not present for that event. So the 2009 event was a new and exciting occasion for me. I shall leave it to the sober and mentally stable members of The Primrose staff to report the important details, and I will confine myself to bits of related fluff and nonsense that might pop into my head. Actually, there is plenty of space in my head for fluff and nonsense. That’s because I employ a special archive filtering mechanism that routinely deletes anything that might be wasting precious memory space, like my name, where I left my car, and whatever it was I was talking about. What?
Apart from the election itself, the main focus of the April meeting was pizza. Now based strictly on the appearance of our group, a casual observer might expect us to prefer a nice salad which we would pick at while sipping a chilled white wine. Surprise! A good rule to remember is that it can be very dangerous to stand between us and the food. It didn’t take long for the pizza and the delicious kringle to be devoured, with the exception of that one pizza. That one sad and misunderstood pizza. The pizza that caused Gina and I to conduct an exhaustive and scientific opinion poll in which we found that 100% of the two of us cannot understand why anyone would want to eat little fish on pizza.
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Speaking of people who like little fish on pizza, I was thinking about what it is going to be like to be at a CGS meeting without Katie presiding. I know that Jackie will do a wonderful job leading us, but I am a bit thrown by the image of Katie just being one of US! Where will she sit? Will she sit in the front row and be quiet and attentive, or will she sit way in the back of the room and be a persistent heckler? Without the responsibilities of office, will she sink into the pits of little fish addiction? Will Shirley have to make embarrassed excuses for the fish scales clinging to her lips? Will Katie continue to be the model of age-appropriate fashion, or will she finally wear that see-through miniskirt that she has been saving for a special occasion? Will she begin borrowing from my wardrobe? Will she ever find out that Shirley is occasionally seen in the company of an older man, always when Katie isn’t around? Time will reveal the answers to these perplexing questions, but for now, let us move away from the image of Katie snacking from a pail of little fish while wearing a tarty little miniskirt (Katie wearing the miniskirt, not the little fish).
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And now, buried here where no one will ever find it, I would like to add my own little “thank you” to Katie. Thank you for helping to make CGS an organization that I truly enjoy. Thank you for being a warm, open, and welcoming human being. Thank you for being an excellent role model. Thank you for helping me to accept that I should dress for my age, at least some of the time. Thank you for appreciating it when I wear a mini in spite of my age. Thank you for sharing yourself with us.
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On a more serious note (really), I suppose I was not alone in being very pleasantly surprised by the recent Iowa Supreme Court ruling that overturned the ban on same-sex marriage in that state. I was particularly struck by the statements that read, “We are firmly convinced that the exclusion of gay and lesbian people from the institution of civil marriage does not substantially further any important governmental objective”, and, “Our constitution does not permit any branch of government to resolve these types of religious debates and entrusts to courts the task of ensuring that government avoids them”. I was further struck by the fact that the ruling was agreed to by all seven members of the court. I will hope that this type of rational thinking continues to spread throughout our society. For now, I continue to wonder how the marriage of any two loving people has a negative impact on someone else’s marriage, or how it erodes someone else’s family values. I also wonder how it is that people seem to forget that our core principles are supposed to be about protecting the rights of everyone, not about imposing the beliefs of the majority on everyone.
Now that I have used up my quota of words that can be devoted to serious subjects, let us return to my usual light-hearted rambling.
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Why is that when we immerse ourselves in water for a prolonged period of time (for example a pool, hot tub, or immense martini glass at a naughty motel), our skin tends to become wrinkled (more than usual) or “pruney”. But, when a prune is immersed in water for a prolonged period of time, it gets smooth. Perhaps “peopley”?
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Have I mentioned that I am 50% Scottish? I think that means that I love to spend money, but I hate myself later for doing it. More to the point, it means I can (and do) lay claim to the right to wear the national costume of Scotland, the kilt. I own a kilt and I wear it to occasional Scottish and formal events. It is important to note that wearing a kilt is nothing like wearing a femme skirt. To begin with, the thing contains 8 yards of 13 oz. wool, and it weighs about 80 pounds (well, maybe a little less, but it is pretty heavy). Normally, one wears knee-length wool socks with the kilt, and of course it is traditional to allow the breeze to blow through unhampered by undergarments (apart from the Scottish regiments, the undergarment question is a matter of personal choice, and one just doesn’t ask). The end result can be a real itch-fest, especially when it is warm.
Now quite distinct from the true kilt, which is traditionally worn only by men, there are the delightful kilted skirts for women made of beautiful tartan plaids. You have probably seen women wearing these wonderful skirts in all lengths, from floor length all the way up to the reason I brought this topic up to begin with.
Last weekend I had lunch at a new pub that just opened in Woodridge (in the Seven Bridges area) called The Tilted Kilt. The food and the locally brewed lager were quite good, but it is the server’s uniforms that I would like to mention. I must admit to loving and being extremely jealous of the adorable little kilts that the servers wear. I want one! Of course I couldn’t wear it with bare midriff as they do (not a pretty sight; me with a bare midriff that is), and rather than white knee socks, I would probably go with suntan thigh-highs, and the chunky heels would have to be replaced with stilettos, and . . . well, you understand I’m sure. We end up with the counterpoint to the traditional masculine highlander. The totally age-inappropriate microminiskirted t-t-girl (that’s tarty t-girl). Come to think of it, I already have such a skirt hiding in the back of my closet. I guess I had forgotten because when I wear it I don’t look anything like the 20-something servers at the Tilted Kilt. Sigh.
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Hey, I received a telephone call from Lisa “the devil woman” at Tall Girl shop. It seems that the delightful little black and white dress that I resisted buying last time is now on sale. Ah ha! That’s one for Greer! Patience and a frugal attitude paid off. But wait, someone might buy it before I get there! Eh gads! Quick, warm up the t-car while I put on my face, it’s time for a shopping trip!
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Note to readers: sorry, I am unable to refund the time that you have just wasted while reading my pointless ramblings. However, I can offer you a store credit that will allow you to read next month’s column in half the time!
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Thoughts? Comments? Suggestions? Please send to me at greercd@hotmail.com.