Greer's Ramblings

The Primrose, April 2009

I had a wonderfully marvelous evening last night, and I am so anxious to tell you about it that I am beginning to write this almost 3 weeks before the relentless deadline so cruelly imposed by the editor and publisher of The Primrose. But let me tell the story from the start (telling a story from the end is an interesting exercise, but readers tend to lose interest toward the end; or is that the beginning?).
President Katie recently suggested that the members of CGS consider a visit to the Tall Girl shop in The Streets of Woodfield. While I wasn’t going to be in town for their big 50th Anniversary sale (Happy Anniversary Tall Girl!!!), I made a mental note (that’s a post-it stuck to my forehead) to give them a try after vacation. After a very enjoyable week spent with Mickey and friends in Florida, and a thoroughly awful first week back at work, the time was right to set off for some shopping!
It is true that some of the most enjoyable shopping occurs when you just go out for the sheer joy of it. No plans, no goals, just you and the shopping goddesses. But in this case, I actually had a couple of things I wanted.
First, I was still in pursuit of the perfect pair of jeans. I very much enjoy low-rise jeans on lovely ladies. I admit that the occasional sight of a thong peaking out of those pants is delightful. I have done my part to encourage the sale of such jeans by purchasing and wearing some myself. However, there is an ongoing struggle to pull those babies up every time I stand. So, I wanted to find jeans with a high rise to eliminate this problem. Of course they still needed to be tightly form-fitting from my waist to my knees (see “Greer’s Ramblings” in the January issue for the universal, iron-clad, don’t-bend-‘em rules regarding jeans for MTF crossdressers). I also wanted them to be either boot-cut or flared, and to be long enough to look sexy with heels.
The second thing I was looking for was a long-sleeve, white blouse. Something feminine, but with sleeves that actually fit my arms. Perhaps something in a yummy, silky material.
So with my shopping goals in mind, I prepared myself for the journey. Now, I know there are always readers who are disappointed if I don’t wear a short skirt, but cold weather was still upon us. Yes, yes, I am the one who always says that we must suffer for our art, and I promise to wear a skirt next time I go, but this time I wore jeans (low rise, with a thong, sorry TMI). I did wear pumps rather than boots so I could see how my new perfect pants would look with them. Besides, the pumps just sound so good when I walk!
I looked up Tall Girl online, and made a careful note of the address. I made sure the GPS unit was in the car for the trip, and then I very carefully drove away from home without having put the address into the GPS and without bringing the paper with the address. Sigh. Fortunately, I knew roughly where to find the shop, so I proceeded with confidence.
For those who are unfamiliar with The Streets of Woodfield, it is a separate indoor/outdoor shopping mall to the Southeast of Woodfield mall. The Tall Girl shop is hidden from the sight of a potential customer who does a quick drive by. It is found on a little crescent of a road that wraps around the likes of Starbucks, Jamba Juice and Chipotle. I parked just opposite Jamba Juice and headed off to shop (Keys in purse? Check. Purse in hand? Check. Car locked? Check. Pants pulled up to cover butt? Check. High heels making cool clicking sound on pavement? Check. Driver checking me out as I cross the street at a stop sign? Don’t know, too chicken to look.)
My first impression as I walked into the tall girl was, “hey, watch where you’re going!” But my first impression as I walked into the Tall Girl shop was of a clean, neatly arranged, well stock, well lighted, moderately upscale shop. I found out later that they stock over 4,000 pieces from over 20 brands, and I think I tried on every one. But I’m getting ahead of myself (hmm, nice butt on that old broad up there).
Shortly after entering the shop, I was cheerfully greeted by the ladies behind the counter. They did not “swoop” down on me, but gently asked if there was anything they could help me find.
To digress for a moment, have you ever shopped at Lovers Lane? The clerks there seemed to be specially trained to swoop in, force you to hear about all of their specials, and to then pick incessantly at the secret reasons for your visit no matter how many times you say you just want to browse (Please stop! I confess! I’m here to buy panties for myself!) I complained to a manager once and I was told that their corporate leaders expect this aggressive behavior and that “secret shoppers” will rat them out if they don’t do it. Argh!!!
Since I had some specific things I was looking for, I passed along my interests to the ladies. At this point they introduced themselves as Kathy and Lisa. Kathy is the manager of the store, and Lisa is the designated pants expert (she is also a very dangerous person, but we’ll get back to that). At this time I told them about my affiliation with CGS. Kathy shook her head sadly and said that she was indeed familiar with Katie, but that I was welcome to shop there anyway (just kidding!). Actually, they were excited to be establishing a relationship with our community in general and CGS in particular.
Then it was off to find pants. Lisa asked me about size and style. I gave her my information and she started pulling pants off the rack. In moments she had an armful, and she cheerfully led me to a dressing room. With great hope I shed my own pants and picked up the first pair to try on. Lisa announced that she was putting more outside the door. I put one leg in the first pair to try on. Lisa announced that she was putting more outside the door. I put my other leg (watch it now) in the first pair to try on. Lisa announced that she was putting more outside the door. I pulled the first pair up to my waist. Kathy asked how I was doing so far, and Lisa announced that she was putting more outside the door.
Having zipped the first pair up, I used a stepladder to get over the stacks of pants now piled outside the dressing room and stepped over to the 3-way mirror for a better look. There was actually a mirror in the dressing room, but I wanted to test to see if I could still get out. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Lisa unloading a semi full of pants into my dressing room. Kathy agreed with my assessment that the first pants weren’t quite right and told Lisa to bring more pants, lots more pants.
Eventually, they forced me to try on 8,456 pairs of pants that night (there may have been a gun involved and threats made, but my memories are foggy). I am convinced that they were borrowing pants from other stores.
You have hopefully realized that I made most of that up. The truth is that they didn’t bring me thousands of pairs of pants, only hundreds. OK, OK, it was probably closer to 20. Sadly, in spite of a literal plethora of shapes, styles and makers, I didn’t find my perfect pants. Obviously this was not due to any lack of effort on Lisa’s part.
While Lisa was concentrating on pants, Kathy went in search of my perfect blouse. I am happy to say that she did find some very, very nice blouses (Shelley Berman suggested that the plural of blouse should be blice, but we’ll leave that alone for now). It was wonderful to put on a very feminine blouse with sleeves that actually matched my arm length! One of the blouses was made by Haggar, which made me laugh considering how many times I have worn their clothing made for that other gender.
While I was slaving away trying on pants, I heard Kathy and Lisa talking about skirts and dresses. I did my very best to remain focused, but I just couldn’t help from speaking out, “I would much prefer to be trying on skirts and dresses!” I freely admit to opening the door, and my new friends were happy to use that door to deliver more to my dressing room. Before I knew it, I was trying on some delicious skirts and coordinating tops, and wondering why I had wasted time on pants anyway. For these outfits, I just had to come out and show Kathy and Lisa how each one looked. They would occasionally fuss with a belt, or have me try a different top, or move that stray bit of hair on the top of my head. Oh what fun! They agreed that it was like they were playing with a big Barbie doll!
It was well after their official closing time when I reluctantly called a halt, and attempted to assess what I could actually buy out of all of the wonderful things I found. I had pretty much decided on a group of items that were all on sale (aye, we Scots are frugal) when Lisa (remember I said she was dangerous?) brought me this luscious black and white, asymmetrical hemline dress. Against my better judgment I tried it on. It was made for me. It was gorgeous. It was NOT on sale. Argh! No. I was strong, and I told her to put it back (as I wept softly). (see postscript below)
I got dressed and took my selections to the counter, but then I made another tactical error. I believe I mentioned that I had selected a long skirt and one that was knee-length, but that I usually wore shorter skirts and dresses. With that Lisa (oh, she truly is dangerous) led me to a rack and pulled off another cute dress in black and white. This one was shorter, sleeveless, and with a fetching little tie around the neck. Powerless to resist, I returned to the dressing room to try on the new temptation. It was delightful. I impressed Kathy and Lisa by putting a belt around the waist and shortening the hemline by blousing out the top. They thought it showed good fashion sense. Nah, just a cheap ploy to show off more leg.
Somehow, I didn’t buy that dress either. I ended up with a classy, brown, tulip skirt, a colorful, long skirt, a cream colored, lacey, short-sleeve top, and a black top with lace sleeves and a cowl neck. No pants and no long-sleeve top. So much for shopping plans.
I found the clothing at Tall Girl to be of high quality. Their prices seemed quite reasonable for the level of quality provided, and they had some excellent deals in their clearance racks. But to return to my original statement, I had a wonderfully marvelous time visiting Tall Girl and that was mostly because of Kathy and Lisa. They were helpful, warm, funny and very welcoming. I would strongly suggest giving them a try!
*****
Postscript – When I arrived home, I found that Kathy and Lisa had “thoughtfully” provided me a copy of their spring catalog. What did I find on page x? The lovely black and white, asymmetrical hem dress that Lisa forced me to try on! How mean is that? I looked at it in the catalog for several days before deciding I just had to have it. Lisa had beaten me. I went back to Tall Girl and met Lucille (aka Assistant Manager in Training – really, that’s what her name tag says) and Barb. The dress was still there, but my eyes also landed on an LBD in a ruffle knit. I tried on both. Lucille thought the LBD looked better on me, and ultimately I agreed and bought it. Take that Lisa! I think I need to raise the hem though. My new favorite LBD must show more leg!
*****
The Tall Girl shop is located in the Streets of Woodfield at 601 North Martingale Road, Suite #324 in Schaumburg. There is also a Tall Girl shop in downtown Chicago at 700 North Michigan. The clothes generally run from size 8 to 20, but in some styles they have sizes 4, 6 and/or 22.
*****
New Years Resolution Watch – How am I doing on my resolutions?
Go on a diet/lose weight – A week at Disney World wiped me out again. Too depressing to talk about now. I’ll be sobbing in the corner, and eating a box of Twinkies.
Always take purse out of car before locking it – Still good. No late night calls to the auto club while I stand around in a miniskirt.
Go to new places while dressed – I’m doing pretty good with this one.
Improve femme voice – I purchased a downloadable audio package from the Transgender Guide (http://www.tgguide.com/female-voice.htm), and I have been doing some sporadic practicing. I think I have the beginnings of a voice, but it’s still weak, and it’s easy for me to slip out.
Organize closet/drawers – No more action since doing the jewelry. Really need to do something with the clothes.
Win a large lottery – Yes, the way my 401k has gone, the lottery is my best bet at retirement.

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Thoughts? Comments? Suggestions? Please send to me at greercd@hotmail.com.