Greer's Ramblings

The Primrose, July 2009

As I sit thinking about my 5 days at Be All this year, I am tempted to draw a comparison to the fabled Woodstock music festival. Music, love, fun . . . but wait, that was 40 years ago (August 1969). We all know that I am not old enough to have even heard of it, so forget it was ever mentioned. Here, look into this flashy thing and you will forget having read this paragraph . . .
Hi, welcome to my column! Last year, Be All 2008 was a wonderful experience. I made some very special new friends, danced a lot, drank a bit, and just completely enjoyed being able to devote myself fully to my femme side for 3 days. Recently, I had moments when I worried that perhaps the planets were all in alignment last year, and that it might not be as special this year. Well, I shouldn’t have worried. Be All 2009 was fantastic! In the following paragraphs, I will share my experiences and my perspective of this event. Feel free to take your stimulant/depressant of choice to enhance your enjoyment of my ramblings.
In a sense, Be All 2009 started for me at the end of Be All 2008. At that time, I decided that I just had to come back again. I also decided that I had to be there from the beginning and not arrive late in the week. I think it was also about that time that I started thinking about what I should wear. More clothes! I need more clothes!
The one outfit that I thought the most about was a bathing suit. I had no intention of going in the water of course, but I was determined to find something to wear to the luau that would be cute and wouldn’t cause the poi to go bad. When I actually began shopping, I quickly experienced bathing suit sticker shock. Why is it that the less material that is included, the more it costs? In the end, my daughter unknowingly pointed the way. She mentioned that Old Navy had some great prices, and she was right. I was able to mix-and-match a tankini top and bikini bottom for $25. Unfortunately, they don’t have dressing rooms. Fortunately, they have a very easy return policy.
The bikini bottom that I started with was cute in the extreme. It was black (helps to hide . . . uh, you know), fairly small (blush), and with side ties (I guess that made it a string bikini, oh my). The side ties were the problem. To present my girlish best (and to hide . . . uh, you know), I needed to wear the appropriate garment underneath (more blush). The side ties were insufficient to cover the sides of my undergarment (why am I telling you this?). So the bottoms went back to Old Navy to be exchanged for a basic bikini bottom. Stupidly, I got an extra large, mostly because that was the size of the top. Not too bright. Back to Old Navy for exchange #2. Considering how huge the extra large was on me, I went for a medium. Are we surprised to hear that these were too small? What a sap! Anyway, exchange #3 finally left me with a bikini bottom that I could wear with some degree of confidence. Of course I covered it with a short wrap skirt, and almost no one saw the bikini bottom anyway. But darn it, I wore it!
On Sunday before the official Be All kickoff, I had an appointment with Gina, my favorite esthetician for a full body wax. I decided it was bad enough that I would have to shave my face twice a day for the duration, I didn’t want to have to devote the time necessary to deforest my body every day too. So, Gina tore out all of those little hair follicles from my skin. I love the smoothness of the skin after being waxed. I also love the pretty red welts I get all over my body. Fortunately, they only last a day or two. If you haven’t done it, full body waxing sounds painful. But if you have it done by someone who is skilled and quick, the process isn’t bad once you learn to relax and just go with it. It’s like a zen thing. You know, first she pulls the hair off and zen you scream.
I had to go into work Monday morning, but about noon, my vacation began. My good friend Erica was flying in from the twin cities that afternoon. After picking her up and getting her checked into the hotel, we went out to dinner with my wife and daughter. We had a great time, but I was in drab and terribly jealous of the lovely ladies. Besides, they picked on me!
Tuesday morning, finally arrived! My wife and daughter were heading to Boston for the week, so I first drove them to the airport, and then dashed home to pack and dress. My philosophy on packing this year was “If there is a chance I will wear it, bring it!” The result was 2 large suitcases, 2 smaller suitcases, a couple of smaller bags, and the laptop. Fortunately the trunk on the t-car is large. Oh, it’s actually a new Taurus, but Erica christened it the t-car. I like it!
Erica and I had 1:00 appointments at Mario Tricoci for manicures and pedicures. It was my first time for such treatment, and I must say that it was delightful. Apart from the obvious pleasure of having someone pamper you, I have never been able to do my nails so beautifully. I have since had to remove the fingernail polish, but as of 3 weeks later, my toenails are still gloriously red!
After a bit of shopping (see above for Old Navy exchange #3), it was time to check in to the hotel and unpack. Of course I first had to get my luggage to my room, and that made my back ache just thinking about it. Dear Erica went inside and wiggled her rear or something, because she quickly returned with the marvelous and macho Vincent. Vincent didn’t even bother with a luggage cart or suitcase wheels. He just picked everything up and whisked it away and up to my room. Thank you Vincent!
Once everything was unpacked, I found that I had filled the closet, filled the 6-drawer dresser, and filled the floor and shelf of the closet with shoes. My jewelry and wigs covered the top of the dresser, my makeup covered the top of the bedroom table, and my laptop and conference papers covered the top of the desk. I was ready to party! Oops, not quite yet. First I had to complete my daily afternoon ritual of removing part of my makeup, shaving for the second time of the day, and reapplying my makeup. This ritual also involves one of my obligatory outfit changes. Then I was ready to party!
Speaking of outfit changes . . . It was my intention to wear at least 3 different outfits each day, more if possible. I am happy to report that I met this goal, and managed to surpass it on several days. Ah, it is nice to be able to report positively about solid and important accomplishments. I should have such results at work!
My first stop was the hospitality suite. This was a very important stop because that night the bar was hosted by our friends at Sidetrack. Thank you Sidetrack! After meeting, chatting and drinking for a while, we were off to dinner. Lexi and Luna of Chicago Illusions had engineered a group dinner, and about 10 of us piled into the Doubletree van and headed off to D.O.C. Wine Bar at Yorktown Mall. This place is a personal favorite of mine and I think a good time was had by all. It was my distinct pleasure to sit beside Lady Celeste, also of Chicago Illusions. Delightful!
After dinner, I was reminded that Chicago weather is always unpredictable, even in June. I had worn a short dress (surprise!) and I was trying to be fashionable by not wearing hosiery. Ah, the wind was a bit nippy as we waited for the hotel van (and waited, and waited, and waited . . .)
Hmm, according to the word count tool on my trusty word processor, I have already used almost 1,500 of my allotted 2,000 words for this column. Yikes! I’ve only gotten through the first half day! Any self-respecting writer would go back and edit what was already written as part of an overall plan to provide the reader with . . . blah, blah, blah. Since that sounds like a lot of work, I am just going to shift gears and tell you about the highlights of the week.
The hotel itself was wonderful. All the rooms were suites, so there was a kitchenette and plenty of room to spread out. Having the vendor area in the atrium gave it a small town feel. You could sit at a table in the center chatting with friends, stroll over to the cafe for a donut, then wander into one of the little shops. All of this without having to be concerned about the weather. Makes me want to sing Camelot! To bad I can’t sing. I should also mention that the members of the hotel staff were great. Universally friendly and helpful.
I heard very positive comments about the seminars, but I hereby humbly confess that I did not attend a single one. My intentions were good. I had studied the schedule and noted the seminar I wanted to attend in each time slot. However, staying up late every night caused me to sleep in (sort of) every morning, then there were late lunches and emergency shopping trips. I throw myself on the mercy of the court.
The keynote presentation by Les and Leith was delightful. They make the cutest couple. The humor was great, but the love and affection that they share really got to me. I felt blessed that they shared those feelings with us.
The “pool” party was fun although having an actual pool would have been nice. Unfortunately, the weather made it prudent to move the party indoors to avoid ice forming on bare skin, especially on those of us in pool attire. (After all the effort that went into getting the darn swimsuit, I was sure as heck going to wear it!)
I must mention that in my soul, I am a foxtrot/tango kind of girl. But since no handsome gentleman asked me to dance on the very rare occasion that such music was played, I throughly enjoyed dancing to whatever was fast and rhythmic (I gave it a 65 because it has a good beat . . .) My first opportunity for dancing during Be All was at the party at the North Beach Club (thank you Dr. Z!). In spite of the permanent damage done to my ears (thank you Stevie!), it was a great party. One very special moment came when my new friend Sharon gave in to the music, put aside her remaining inhibitions, took off her jacket and embraced being a girl. It was a wonderful thing to see.
Oops! The stage manager is signaling that I am almost out of time, and I haven’t even mentioned the fashion show (that was me that came out first), dinner/theater at Tommy Guns, the variety show, the fabulous fireworks, or so many of the other things that made Be All such a special event.
Overall, the absolute best part of Be All for me was reconnecting with old friends and making new ones. The worst part? That would be parting from those friends and going home on Sunday. Perhaps the committee can find a way to avoid having it end next year?

*****Thoughts? Comments? Suggestions? Please send to me at greercd@hotmail.com