The Primrose, October 2008
[This was my first contribution to The Primrose, which is the monthly newsletter of the Chicago Gender Society (CGS)]
Recently it was my very good fortune to have dinner with the members of the CGS board. This had been my request as a result of being honored as “Queen for a Day”. I was curious to know more about the ladies who have the responsibility for running CGS, and who seem to be so comfortable with their very visible positions in our community.
Those who have spent 30 seconds around me know that my personal style of dress tends to focus on answering 3 questions: First, is my skirt short enough? Second, is enough leg showing? And third, would my new thigh-high boots look better I hiked this skirt up a bit? It’s not that I want to look like a tramp . . . well, maybe it is that. Nevertheless, I realized that I would need to clean my act up a bit if I was going to a nice restaurant with the luminaries of CGS. You know what that means, shopping!
It is with a certain amount of embarrassment that I must admit to being less than totally comfortable going out shopping by myself en femme. I have done so, but I’m not to a point where I can really enjoy it (going with a group is fun, but that’s another story). I also have to state that I don’t feel free spending much money on my femme wardrobe. My wonderful wife is tolerant, but if I presented credit card receipts for pricey outfits from (select your favorite upscale women’s clothing store), it wouldn’t go over very well.
When preparing for this year’s Be-All (my first), I discovered that my local Target store will happily take part in a game that I call “off-site fitting”. In this game, I go into the store in drab, find a potentially useful article of women’s clothing, purchase it, take it home, try it on, then return it to the store for a full refund (certain articles of personal attire not returnable, see store for details). My personal development has moved beyond the early stage of actually having to say “I’m buying this for my wife”, but I haven’t come to the point of telling them that I’m trans and that the adorable short skirt is for me! Of course if I was to that point I would just go to the store en femme and let the garters fall where they may! The result was that after only 3 rounds of the game I ended up with a pair of size 13, low-rise jeans for the Be-All. Of course I never wore them at Be-All because of my all-consuming need to show my legs in cute little skirts.
Anyway, as I was pondering what sort of outfit I would need for my upcoming special dinner, I happened to check online at Target.com. I found that they have a marvelous little corner called “75% Off, Last Chance Clearance”. (Cute little miniskirts for $4! Be still my heart, that’s not why we’re here.) What I found were some nice looking, more conservative (aka longer) skirts that just might allow me to present a more sophisticated look (less trampy that is). The price tags were in the $8 to $12 range, so I could even pick up a couple and allow for future “looking nice” events without wearing the same thing over and over. Besides, spend at least $50 and shipping is free!
The next issue was size. If you are shaped anything like me, you know that the sizing charts for women’s clothes are pretty much useless. I have generally avoided the issue of precise sizing by purchasing knit tops and skirts made of stretchy materials with elastic waistbands. Alas, the skirts and dresses I was looking at were precisely sized with little give. “Off-site fitting” to the rescue!
Actually, let’s call this “on-line fitting” as it is a somewhat different game that the Target organization is also happy to play. It works like this: load up your shopping cart on-line with at least $50 worth of cute clothes, pay no shipping fees, wait for USPS to deliver (this is the very hardest part), check your account every day to see when the cute clothes will arrive, try on the cute clothes at home (or while standing by your mailbox if you prefer), go online to obtain a return receipt for anything that has to go back, take the returns and the receipt to the local Target store and get your cheerful refund. Of course you can pretend the stuff was for your wife and moan about being there, but that’s a personal call.
After a couple rounds of playing “on-line fitting” I found that a size 14 skirt is about right for me, as long as it’s fairly straight through the hips. I ended up with a really nice looking “tulip” skirt (new term for me) in “Silver Birch Heather” (new color for me) that I thought fit me very well.
It happens that this particular skirt was part of a collection that included matching pants and two different jackets. Great! I would look especially sophisticated in a suit! Back to the sizing charts. Still not completely helpful, but I took a shot and ordered a jacket in size 16, only $12. This shipment took a bit longer than others, and it arrived just a few days before the big dinner. To my chagrin, the jacket proved to be large enough to wear comfortably, but it was too tight when buttoned. Rats!
My dilemma at that point was that there wouldn’t be enough time to order the jacket in a larger size and have it arrive in time for the dinner. I considered wearing the jacket unbuttoned, but then I couldn’t return it. So I wrapped it up to return. But then I didn’t have anything else to wear, so I took it out again. No you silly, take it back. So I wrapped it up to return. Argh! No, I want to wear it! So I took it out and snipped the tags! There, no more changing my mind. Besides, it was only $12. I’ll wear it unbuttoned then donate it and buy a larger size. And that is just what I did!Now, what about a blouse? And shoes! Jewelry! No dear reader, I won’t inflict the rest of my clothing conflict upon you. Suffice it to say that I was ultimately happy with my appearance. Furthermore, I don’t think I embarrassed the board with either my outfit or my deportment in public. And for their part, the board did a wonderful job of making me feel like a Queen for a Day.
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