The Primrose, October 2008
[This was my first contribution to The Primrose, which is the monthly newsletter of the Chicago Gender Society (CGS)]
Recently it was my very good fortune to have dinner with the members of the CGS board. This had been my request as a result of being honored as “Queen for a Day”. I was curious to know more about the ladies who have the responsibility for running CGS, and who seem to be so comfortable with their very visible positions in our community.
Those who have spent 30 seconds around me know that my personal style of dress tends to focus on answering 3 questions: First, is my skirt short enough? Second, is enough leg showing? And third, would my new thigh-high boots look better I hiked this skirt up a bit? It’s not that I want to look like a tramp . . . well, maybe it is that. Nevertheless, I realized that I would need to clean my act up a bit if I was going to a nice restaurant with the luminaries of CGS. You know what that means, shopping!
It is with a certain amount of embarrassment that I must admit to being less than totally comfortable going out shopping by myself en femme. I have done so, but I’m not to a point where I can really enjoy it (going with a group is fun, but that’s another story). I also have to state that I don’t feel free spending much money on my femme wardrobe. My wonderful wife is tolerant, but if I presented credit card receipts for pricey outfits from (select your favorite upscale women’s clothing store), it wouldn’t go over very well.
When preparing for this year’s Be-All (my first), I discovered that my local Target store will happily take part in a game that I call “off-site fitting”. In this game, I go into the store in drab, find a potentially useful article of women’s clothing, purchase it, take it home, try it on, then return it to the store for a full refund (certain articles of personal attire not returnable, see store for details). My personal development has moved beyond the early stage of actually having to say “I’m buying this for my wife”, but I haven’t come to the point of telling them that I’m trans and that the adorable short skirt is for me! Of course if I was to that point I would just go to the store en femme and let the garters fall where they may! The result was that after only 3 rounds of the game I ended up with a pair of size 13, low-rise jeans for the Be-All. Of course I never wore them at Be-All because of my all-consuming need to show my legs in cute little skirts.
Anyway, as I was pondering what sort of outfit I would need for my upcoming special dinner, I happened to check online at Target.com. I found that they have a marvelous little corner called “75% Off, Last Chance Clearance”. (Cute little miniskirts for $4! Be still my heart, that’s not why we’re here.) What I found were some nice looking, more conservative (aka longer) skirts that just might allow me to present a more sophisticated look (less trampy that is). The price tags were in the $8 to $12 range, so I could even pick up a couple and allow for future “looking nice” events without wearing the same thing over and over. Besides, spend at least $50 and shipping is free!
The next issue was size. If you are shaped anything like me, you know that the sizing charts for women’s clothes are pretty much useless. I have generally avoided the issue of precise sizing by purchasing knit tops and skirts made of stretchy materials with elastic waistbands. Alas, the skirts and dresses I was looking at were precisely sized with little give. “Off-site fitting” to the rescue!
Actually, let’s call this “on-line fitting” as it is a somewhat different game that the Target organization is also happy to play. It works like this: load up your shopping cart on-line with at least $50 worth of cute clothes, pay no shipping fees, wait for USPS to deliver (this is the very hardest part), check your account every day to see when the cute clothes will arrive, try on the cute clothes at home (or while standing by your mailbox if you prefer), go online to obtain a return receipt for anything that has to go back, take the returns and the receipt to the local Target store and get your cheerful refund. Of course you can pretend the stuff was for your wife and moan about being there, but that’s a personal call.
After a couple rounds of playing “on-line fitting” I found that a size 14 skirt is about right for me, as long as it’s fairly straight through the hips. I ended up with a really nice looking “tulip” skirt (new term for me) in “Silver Birch Heather” (new color for me) that I thought fit me very well.
It happens that this particular skirt was part of a collection that included matching pants and two different jackets. Great! I would look especially sophisticated in a suit! Back to the sizing charts. Still not completely helpful, but I took a shot and ordered a jacket in size 16, only $12. This shipment took a bit longer than others, and it arrived just a few days before the big dinner. To my chagrin, the jacket proved to be large enough to wear comfortably, but it was too tight when buttoned. Rats!
My dilemma at that point was that there wouldn’t be enough time to order the jacket in a larger size and have it arrive in time for the dinner. I considered wearing the jacket unbuttoned, but then I couldn’t return it. So I wrapped it up to return. But then I didn’t have anything else to wear, so I took it out again. No you silly, take it back. So I wrapped it up to return. Argh! No, I want to wear it! So I took it out and snipped the tags! There, no more changing my mind. Besides, it was only $12. I’ll wear it unbuttoned then donate it and buy a larger size. And that is just what I did!Now, what about a blouse? And shoes! Jewelry! No dear reader, I won’t inflict the rest of my clothing conflict upon you. Suffice it to say that I was ultimately happy with my appearance. Furthermore, I don’t think I embarrassed the board with either my outfit or my deportment in public. And for their part, the board did a wonderful job of making me feel like a Queen for a Day.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Be All Chicago 2008
This year (2008) I attended the Chicago Be All conference for the first time. Before the event, I had tried to find comments and descriptions from previous attendees. This was pretty much unsuccessful, so I decided that I would make my own impressions available for those who might attend in the future. I also thought it would be fun for those who had attended this year. To avoid boring you totally, what follows are comments only about those things that were highlights for me. Of course these are probably still boring, but that’s the way the makeup crumbles!
Naturally the comments, thoughts, and opinions here are strictly my own, and not necessarily those of the hard-working organizers and staff of the event.
Preparation
To put my comments into perspective, I consider myself to be a crossdresser, transvestite or t-girl. I am not currently considering transitioning. I have some experience with being dressed in public, but mostly at t-friendly venues. I see myself as being semi-passable in a dark room full of people with impaired hearing.
Soon after making the decision to attend Be All, I made the further decision that I would make it a “total immersion” event. I would stay at the event hotel. I would arrive and depart in girl mode and take along no boy clothes at all. I quickly realized that my collection of scandalous mini-skirts and dresses probably wouldn’t be acceptable for daytime wear at a nice hotel, so I purchased some femme pants and tops for my wardrobe. I also purchased a scandalous nightgown, but I didn’t think I would be wearing it in the hallways, so that was OK.
Thursday
I had intended to start conservatively by wearing my new femme jeans or pants. But I ended up deciding that I just didn’t want to wear pants, so instead I wore one of my new, “proper”, knee-length skirts. I packed everything I thought I might need for 3 nights and 4 days which included approximately 10 skirts, 6 dresses, 12 tops, 20 panties, 15 pairs of stockings and 12 pairs of shoes. Thank goodness my steamer trunk has wheels. Of course getting it in and out of the trunk in a skirt and heels was amusing, but I was on my way!
I had made arrangements with the hotel for early check-in and I gave them my femme name (along with my boy name since that’s what the credit card shows). Sad to say that the room wasn’t ready when requested, but even more disheartening was being “Mistered” and “sired” by the people at the front desk even though I was wonderfully made up, wigged, and dressed. On the positive side, this was the only time this happened during my entire stay. On every other occasion, the hotel staff was very nice, very helpful, and generous with “ladies” and “Miss”.
I only had vague plans to meet some on-line friends at some point during the weekend, but I had definite plans to meet with a friend for dinner and a visit to Hunters on Thursday night. So, a change in makeup from daytime conservative to evening trampy was in order. Looking at myself in the mirror, I confirmed what I had suspected. Remaining in girl mode for the weekend would require the “shave, apply makeup, remove makeup” sequence to be performed twice a day. But a small price to pay for living the fantasy! So off with the old, and on with the new. I had myself all made up and dressed in sufficiently tarty attire for clubbing, when my friend called to cancel due to business needs. Rats!
Being without evening plans, I decided to join the group going to Durty Nellie’s for music, dancing and drinking. I changed into a somewhat less trampy outfit and went down to the hospitality suite for a drink and to wait for the bus. There it was my very good fortune to meet Erica and Erin. Both were first-timers at the Be All as I was. The bus was a bit late and I realized that the heels I was wearing were going to torture my feet, so I hurried back to my room to change. Naturally the bus came while I was gone, but it was Erin to the rescue! She drove us to Durty Nellie’s, and we even beat the bus that I had missed.
Durty Nellie’s was already in full swing when we arrived. A private room was in use and drinks were courtesy of the famous Doctor Z. Well, I had never heard of him before then, but anyone willing to buy drinks is OK in my book! The band was Barely Standing, and most everyone seemed to enjoy them. Naturally, I couldn’t understand any lyrics, but they sounded good.
Friday
I attended a seminar on feminine voice that was standing room only. The presenter gave an overview of the many things that should be done if you want to sound like you want to sound. The bottom line is that you have to understand what you’re trying to do and you have to practice and work at it. She has a series of CDs available to help with all of this.
After the seminar, my goal for the day was to go shopping for a long gown to wear to the final dinner on Saturday. I hadn’t had any luck up until then, and I considered this to be my final opportunity. Once again, I considered wearing jeans to better blend with shoppers, but again, I preferred to wear a skirt and heels. So I did! Still a conservative skirt, but a skirt nonetheless. Suitably attired, my first stop was Nordstrom Rack. I went through all the long racks and found 3 possible gowns. To the delightful sound of my heels clicking on the hard floor, I proudly carried my selections to the boldly marked “Women’s Fitting Room”. The security person didn’t bat an eyelash when I told her I had 3 items in my best femme voice. Having received the coveted security tag for 3 items, I strolled proudly to my fitting room. Alas, none of the things I tried was right for me. So it was off to the Sak’s outlet store. They had some lovely gowns that felt delicious, but their idea of a discount is marking down from astronomically expensive to just insanely expensive. I didn’t think I could justify over $500 for a gown I might never wear again. Sadly, I returned to the hotel to begin preparing for dinner. I decided that I would give up on the idea of wearing a long gown to the big dinner. Instead, I would wear the hot number I had originally planned to wear to the Friday night dinner, but more about that later.
After removing makeup, shaving, and reapplying makeup, I slipped into a cute dark brown outfit of medium short skirt with matching camisole and jacket. Heels and stockings of course. While not quite as glamorous as the Saturday dinner, the Friday dinner was first class. A photographer was taking photos in the reception area, and 2 bars were in full operation. Dinner itself was delicious. I sat with my friend Linda whom I had met at RedMoon. She and Emma, a new friend, found a common interest in music in general and the Beatles and the Beach Boys in particular. They started quizzing each other on trivia, and I was amazed at the depth of knowledge that they both had (seriously girls, get a life ;-) Also sitting at the table were Raina and Georgia, both from Iowa, and Kristin from Wisconsin. These very special ladies were to figure prominently in the remainder of the weekend.
Following dinner, a band started playing. The music was primarily from the 50’s and 60’s, and it was definitely danceable. I found Erica who had come in a bit late and ended up at a “power” table in front. We refilled our glasses at the bar (Scotch and soda for her, Scotch with just a splash of water for me), and she joined us at the table. Very soon, I found the need to dance to be irresistible. Erica tried to resist, but she caved and followed me to the floor. Soon we also dragged Raina, Georgia, and Kristin to the floor, and a great time was had by all! While dancing, I met Dana (Mistress of the Dance Floor) who was working the whole dance floor and having as much fun as I was. We danced and laughed until the band stopped playing at midnight. Then we made our plans for Saturday morning, an assault on Woodfield Mall!
Saturday
Raina, Georgia, Kristine and I all met in the lobby at 10:00 AM as we agreed. Erica was 10 minutes late as we eventually found was normal for her ;-) The “uniform of the day” was to be casual clothes, probably pants. Of course, I was again unable to bring myself to miss an opportunity to wear a skirt. However, in deference to my feet that were still sore from dancing in heels all night, I wore flats. Nevertheless, I thought I looked pretty good in a black skirt with some pretty flower embroidery on one side and a knit top that matched the light blue color of the flowers on the skirt. We caught the hotel shuttle bus to Woodfield, which was only about 2 minutes away. I suppose that any 1 or 2 of us might have been able to pass, but with 5 of us, we must have been pretty obvious. That didn't stop us from having a wonderful time. The people working at the shops we went into were consistently welcoming, friendly and helpful. Most of the other people either didn't notice us or didn't care. I caught the eye of a few who gave me friendly smiles. There were absolutely no negative comments or looks. Of course there was the pair of teenage girls we passed in Victoria's Secret. After we passed I heard one say in a rather breathless stage whisper, "They're GUYS!" I really wanted to congratulate her for her observational powers, but it was all I could do to keep from busting out laughing. We were at the mall for about 4 hours. It was great fun, and a very liberating experience.
Saturday night was the big dinner. I wore a new dress that I got from Frederick's. It was a slinky black number done with asymetrical neck and hemlines. The right side had a sleeve from shoulder to just above the wrist. From the right shoulder, the neck line dropped across my chest and went under my left arm. My left arm and shoulder were bare. The hem followed the same line. On the left, the hem was about knee length. On the right, it was at the very top of my thigh. As I mentioned before, I had intended to wear a long gown as most of the ladies did, but I must admit that I felt pretty sexy in my LBD.
We had intended to revisit the dance floor after dinner, but the music just wasn't what we were looking for. Along with many of the others, we congregated in the lobby area drinking and talking. We talked about going to Hunters, but we had trouble tearing ourselves away. Finally about midnight, Kristine managed to herd us to her car (thank you to Kristine for being our non-drinking, designated driver). We were joined by Erica, Dana and Georgia. As I recall, it was the first visit to Hunters for everyone but Dana and I. There was good crowd that night and the dance floor was full. Of course that didn’t stop Dana and I from joining the crowd. Of course, we were wearing the only dancers on the floor in dresses!
Sunday
A somewhat sad day for most of the ladies. My new friends were all in boy mode for the trip home. Happily for me, I was holding off on boy mode until I actually arrived home. So I wore a cute little taupe skirt that Charlot gave me along with a pair of lavender ankle boots that were also courtesy of this generous lady. I felt very special sitting in the lobby area in girl mode while saying goodbye to my new friends. But too soon, I had to hit the road myself.
Afterward
The week following the Be All was depressing. I realized that those couple of days with friends were without doubt the most fun I have ever had dressing. And now that the time was over, I felt a very real emptiness. Erica found just the right words when she said, “I have been craving the camaraderie we had in Chicago.”
It became obvious over the weekend that the Be All means different things to different people. Some were very focused on learning all they could at the seminars. For others it was an opportunity renew old friendships. Still others enjoyed a 3 or 4 day party. But I will remember how good it felt to share this part of myself that is kept mostly hidden, and to share it with people who are fun, supportive, and who get it!
Hugs,Greer
P.S. A note to myself (and advice to future attendees): take more pictures!
Naturally the comments, thoughts, and opinions here are strictly my own, and not necessarily those of the hard-working organizers and staff of the event.
Preparation
To put my comments into perspective, I consider myself to be a crossdresser, transvestite or t-girl. I am not currently considering transitioning. I have some experience with being dressed in public, but mostly at t-friendly venues. I see myself as being semi-passable in a dark room full of people with impaired hearing.
Soon after making the decision to attend Be All, I made the further decision that I would make it a “total immersion” event. I would stay at the event hotel. I would arrive and depart in girl mode and take along no boy clothes at all. I quickly realized that my collection of scandalous mini-skirts and dresses probably wouldn’t be acceptable for daytime wear at a nice hotel, so I purchased some femme pants and tops for my wardrobe. I also purchased a scandalous nightgown, but I didn’t think I would be wearing it in the hallways, so that was OK.
Thursday
I had intended to start conservatively by wearing my new femme jeans or pants. But I ended up deciding that I just didn’t want to wear pants, so instead I wore one of my new, “proper”, knee-length skirts. I packed everything I thought I might need for 3 nights and 4 days which included approximately 10 skirts, 6 dresses, 12 tops, 20 panties, 15 pairs of stockings and 12 pairs of shoes. Thank goodness my steamer trunk has wheels. Of course getting it in and out of the trunk in a skirt and heels was amusing, but I was on my way!
I had made arrangements with the hotel for early check-in and I gave them my femme name (along with my boy name since that’s what the credit card shows). Sad to say that the room wasn’t ready when requested, but even more disheartening was being “Mistered” and “sired” by the people at the front desk even though I was wonderfully made up, wigged, and dressed. On the positive side, this was the only time this happened during my entire stay. On every other occasion, the hotel staff was very nice, very helpful, and generous with “ladies” and “Miss”.
I only had vague plans to meet some on-line friends at some point during the weekend, but I had definite plans to meet with a friend for dinner and a visit to Hunters on Thursday night. So, a change in makeup from daytime conservative to evening trampy was in order. Looking at myself in the mirror, I confirmed what I had suspected. Remaining in girl mode for the weekend would require the “shave, apply makeup, remove makeup” sequence to be performed twice a day. But a small price to pay for living the fantasy! So off with the old, and on with the new. I had myself all made up and dressed in sufficiently tarty attire for clubbing, when my friend called to cancel due to business needs. Rats!
Being without evening plans, I decided to join the group going to Durty Nellie’s for music, dancing and drinking. I changed into a somewhat less trampy outfit and went down to the hospitality suite for a drink and to wait for the bus. There it was my very good fortune to meet Erica and Erin. Both were first-timers at the Be All as I was. The bus was a bit late and I realized that the heels I was wearing were going to torture my feet, so I hurried back to my room to change. Naturally the bus came while I was gone, but it was Erin to the rescue! She drove us to Durty Nellie’s, and we even beat the bus that I had missed.
Durty Nellie’s was already in full swing when we arrived. A private room was in use and drinks were courtesy of the famous Doctor Z. Well, I had never heard of him before then, but anyone willing to buy drinks is OK in my book! The band was Barely Standing, and most everyone seemed to enjoy them. Naturally, I couldn’t understand any lyrics, but they sounded good.
Friday
I attended a seminar on feminine voice that was standing room only. The presenter gave an overview of the many things that should be done if you want to sound like you want to sound. The bottom line is that you have to understand what you’re trying to do and you have to practice and work at it. She has a series of CDs available to help with all of this.
After the seminar, my goal for the day was to go shopping for a long gown to wear to the final dinner on Saturday. I hadn’t had any luck up until then, and I considered this to be my final opportunity. Once again, I considered wearing jeans to better blend with shoppers, but again, I preferred to wear a skirt and heels. So I did! Still a conservative skirt, but a skirt nonetheless. Suitably attired, my first stop was Nordstrom Rack. I went through all the long racks and found 3 possible gowns. To the delightful sound of my heels clicking on the hard floor, I proudly carried my selections to the boldly marked “Women’s Fitting Room”. The security person didn’t bat an eyelash when I told her I had 3 items in my best femme voice. Having received the coveted security tag for 3 items, I strolled proudly to my fitting room. Alas, none of the things I tried was right for me. So it was off to the Sak’s outlet store. They had some lovely gowns that felt delicious, but their idea of a discount is marking down from astronomically expensive to just insanely expensive. I didn’t think I could justify over $500 for a gown I might never wear again. Sadly, I returned to the hotel to begin preparing for dinner. I decided that I would give up on the idea of wearing a long gown to the big dinner. Instead, I would wear the hot number I had originally planned to wear to the Friday night dinner, but more about that later.
After removing makeup, shaving, and reapplying makeup, I slipped into a cute dark brown outfit of medium short skirt with matching camisole and jacket. Heels and stockings of course. While not quite as glamorous as the Saturday dinner, the Friday dinner was first class. A photographer was taking photos in the reception area, and 2 bars were in full operation. Dinner itself was delicious. I sat with my friend Linda whom I had met at RedMoon. She and Emma, a new friend, found a common interest in music in general and the Beatles and the Beach Boys in particular. They started quizzing each other on trivia, and I was amazed at the depth of knowledge that they both had (seriously girls, get a life ;-) Also sitting at the table were Raina and Georgia, both from Iowa, and Kristin from Wisconsin. These very special ladies were to figure prominently in the remainder of the weekend.
Following dinner, a band started playing. The music was primarily from the 50’s and 60’s, and it was definitely danceable. I found Erica who had come in a bit late and ended up at a “power” table in front. We refilled our glasses at the bar (Scotch and soda for her, Scotch with just a splash of water for me), and she joined us at the table. Very soon, I found the need to dance to be irresistible. Erica tried to resist, but she caved and followed me to the floor. Soon we also dragged Raina, Georgia, and Kristin to the floor, and a great time was had by all! While dancing, I met Dana (Mistress of the Dance Floor) who was working the whole dance floor and having as much fun as I was. We danced and laughed until the band stopped playing at midnight. Then we made our plans for Saturday morning, an assault on Woodfield Mall!
Saturday
Raina, Georgia, Kristine and I all met in the lobby at 10:00 AM as we agreed. Erica was 10 minutes late as we eventually found was normal for her ;-) The “uniform of the day” was to be casual clothes, probably pants. Of course, I was again unable to bring myself to miss an opportunity to wear a skirt. However, in deference to my feet that were still sore from dancing in heels all night, I wore flats. Nevertheless, I thought I looked pretty good in a black skirt with some pretty flower embroidery on one side and a knit top that matched the light blue color of the flowers on the skirt. We caught the hotel shuttle bus to Woodfield, which was only about 2 minutes away. I suppose that any 1 or 2 of us might have been able to pass, but with 5 of us, we must have been pretty obvious. That didn't stop us from having a wonderful time. The people working at the shops we went into were consistently welcoming, friendly and helpful. Most of the other people either didn't notice us or didn't care. I caught the eye of a few who gave me friendly smiles. There were absolutely no negative comments or looks. Of course there was the pair of teenage girls we passed in Victoria's Secret. After we passed I heard one say in a rather breathless stage whisper, "They're GUYS!" I really wanted to congratulate her for her observational powers, but it was all I could do to keep from busting out laughing. We were at the mall for about 4 hours. It was great fun, and a very liberating experience.
Saturday night was the big dinner. I wore a new dress that I got from Frederick's. It was a slinky black number done with asymetrical neck and hemlines. The right side had a sleeve from shoulder to just above the wrist. From the right shoulder, the neck line dropped across my chest and went under my left arm. My left arm and shoulder were bare. The hem followed the same line. On the left, the hem was about knee length. On the right, it was at the very top of my thigh. As I mentioned before, I had intended to wear a long gown as most of the ladies did, but I must admit that I felt pretty sexy in my LBD.
We had intended to revisit the dance floor after dinner, but the music just wasn't what we were looking for. Along with many of the others, we congregated in the lobby area drinking and talking. We talked about going to Hunters, but we had trouble tearing ourselves away. Finally about midnight, Kristine managed to herd us to her car (thank you to Kristine for being our non-drinking, designated driver). We were joined by Erica, Dana and Georgia. As I recall, it was the first visit to Hunters for everyone but Dana and I. There was good crowd that night and the dance floor was full. Of course that didn’t stop Dana and I from joining the crowd. Of course, we were wearing the only dancers on the floor in dresses!
Sunday
A somewhat sad day for most of the ladies. My new friends were all in boy mode for the trip home. Happily for me, I was holding off on boy mode until I actually arrived home. So I wore a cute little taupe skirt that Charlot gave me along with a pair of lavender ankle boots that were also courtesy of this generous lady. I felt very special sitting in the lobby area in girl mode while saying goodbye to my new friends. But too soon, I had to hit the road myself.
Afterward
The week following the Be All was depressing. I realized that those couple of days with friends were without doubt the most fun I have ever had dressing. And now that the time was over, I felt a very real emptiness. Erica found just the right words when she said, “I have been craving the camaraderie we had in Chicago.”
It became obvious over the weekend that the Be All means different things to different people. Some were very focused on learning all they could at the seminars. For others it was an opportunity renew old friendships. Still others enjoyed a 3 or 4 day party. But I will remember how good it felt to share this part of myself that is kept mostly hidden, and to share it with people who are fun, supportive, and who get it!
Hugs,Greer
P.S. A note to myself (and advice to future attendees): take more pictures!
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