Greer's Ramblings

The Primrose, September 2009

The life of Greer is one that is generally made up of a few pleasant hours during one night a week. Say 6 hours out of about 112 waking hours a week, or about 5% (those seeking extra credit must show their work). Of course this does not include the countless hours I spend thinking about what I will wear, when I can go shopping, whether my butt looks big in this (I wish), and whether breast forms should be replaced after 10 years of faithful service.
However, there are some weeks where my Greer cup truly runneth over (I’m speaking metaphorically here, so please don’t even go there). During the first week of August, I was out and about on 3 occasions, and each involved some new experiences and meeting new people. Total time en Greer? About 22 hours, or almost 20% (can you show that as a fraction?). Let me tell you more about those experiences, plus a couple others from later in the month. Please try to keep the groans to yourself. Remember, you chose to read this rather than do something amusing, like sticking a fork in your eye.
*****
On Sunday I attended the Pamper Party at Chicago Illusions. I know, there are some who have concerns about the goings on at Chicago Illusions, but I can tell you categorically that the Pamper Party had nothing to do with infant wearing apparel. What it was about was being pampered by the wonderful ladies of Lush Cosmetics as they demonstrated many of their products, and by our good friends at Chicago Illusions who made us all feel very welcome. I can also say that the party attendees included a current CGS VP, and at least one former CGS President (there are so many of them it is difficult to keep track), so this was obviously a high class event.
The festivities began with everyone getting liquored up so we would enjoy seeing each other with strange green stuff on our faces. Well, liquored up might be overstating it, but we did enjoy a glass of wine while we were introduced to Lush, and the ladies began preparing for our first pampering, a delightful foot soak. A side note here. I excused myself and went to the ladies room to remove my thigh highs, but my new friends Anabelle and Noelle demonstrated that young GGs are comfortable with whipping theirs off while sitting on the sofa. Perhaps it is because the legs thus exposed are so much smoother and attractive than mine. In any event, not only did I brand myself as being “older”, but I also missed seeing the young lovelies in the act of becoming bare legged. Where’s the fairness in that?
Once our tootsies were all soaking deliciously in warm baths of various colors, the facial mask segment of our pampering began. Now I will freely admit that green is a lovely color, but I have made a note not to consider it as a foundation color for my personal makeup regime. I must also admit that I pretty much wimped out on the facial mask. I had nothing against the mask itself, but I just was not keen on spending the rest of the evening with my natural face showing through sans makeup. Besides, it made it much easier to be amused at the alien faces that appeared all around me.
Following the face masks came my favorite part of the pampering, a (much too brief) hand massage. This is always a delightfully relaxing experience, and I recommend it highly.
Our evening at Chicago Illusions ended with a complete tour of the facilities before we said good night to our hostesses. (Those still interested in extra credit should calculate the ratio of the letter “s” in the word “hostesses”.)

*****
Tuesday was my much-anticipated visit to the teen drop-in center at CAAN in Joliet. I had been asked to speak to the young people about being trans, and I was very excited as this was my first attempt at community outreach. What a wonderful experience!
At the time of my visit, the drop-in center was officially open to teens in high school. This has recently been changed to all between the ages of 15 and 20. The emphasis is on providing a safe and comfortable location for those who are LGBT or just questioning.
The center is supervised by Dave (whom you might remember from last month) and Desiree. The drop-in center has been operating for about a year, and attendance has been steadily increasing, with as many as 15 teens in at a time. Of course summer takes its toll, and there were only 4 members there during my visit. Because of the very appropriate rules of the center, I can only introduce you to Jake and Mark who were both over 18. For the other 2, I will put fake noses and glasses over their names to protect their privacy, and call them Beauty 1 and Beauty 2.
Everyone sat through the agony of my Powerpoint presentation with only minimal snoring and spitwad throwing, but then the Q&A began and the fun really started. They asked some good and probing questions, and I am proud to say that I answered all of them. Even when I had to make up answers. Once the serious topics were exhausted, the conversation took a downward spiral as the relative merits of “The L Word” and “Queer as Folk” were discussed along with several other MTV shows that I have never even heard of. My personal guilty TV pleasure, “Army Wives”, evoked a bit of interest from one of the Beauties, but everyone else was too focused on “Real World” to care.

*****
Thursday was my monthly support “group” meeting in Naperville. The quotes are because we have yet to have enough people in attendance to really call it a group, but “support couple” sounds wrong. Perhaps “support pod”? Anyway, it was a worthwhile get together since there was a new person in attendance who needed some support to help her begin to express herself outside the closet.
Afterwards we went to Le Chocolat du Bouchard in Naperville, had a wonderful cup of hot chocolate and continued our talk. This is an excellent place to relax and enjoy some of their tempting treats. It was my first visit while dressed, and the staff were very friendly and welcoming. It made for a delightful end to the evening, and I will definitely be going back.

*****
The next week was the regular monthly CGS meeting. Others will cover the details of the meeting, but I wanted to share some personal observations. As you know, the program was a presentation by Doctor Schechter on GRS. As usual, I was sitting right at the front of the room so that I could heckle the board with a minimum of yelling. When I realized that Doctor S was going to be showing photos, it was too late to get up and find a place way in the back. Great. I will probably get queasy and hurl right there on the dance floor (I don’t do blood and guts very well). As it turned out, the presentation was very interesting, and Doctor S didn’t allow the more graphic photos to linger too long on the screen. In a couple of cases, I couldn’t even figure out just what I was seeing (why does he have a photo of a 4 legged octopus?). So, crisis averted.
I should mention that our friends from Tall Girl shops were in attendance, as were several ladies from MB Bank (thank you for letting us use your parking lot!). What must they have been thinking during the presentation?

*****
This year was my first time at Sheila D’s picnic. Is it always so damp? Pres Jackie swears that she specifically ordered sunshine, but I think she should demand a refund. It was great that so many people came out in spite of the drippy weather. The thunder and driving rain gave us all something new to talk about.
For those of you that were concerned that my skirt shrank in the rain, it’s true. No, not really. I wore a longish skirt thinking that it would be comfortable and allow the air to circulate. Surprise! After the first downpour, the air got steamy, and the long skirt was just too much. Besides, everyone kept asking if I was sick or something. So, I pulled my emergency miniskirt out of my purse (don’t leave home without one) and changed in the ‘loo. Ah, much better. Of course during the next major drenching, the wind picked up and the temperature dropped, but there was no way I was changing again.

*****
Another first in August was the first Transformations T-Party at Big Shots in Arlington Heights. It was an excellent party and an excellent new location. The staff were very friendly and we felt right at home. Kudos to Robin who was our server. Every time I ordered a drink I was sitting at a different table (social butterfly or possibly ADD), but Robin always knew what I was drinking and put it on the right tab (Christine’s actually, I sure can’t afford to pay for 30 year Laphroaig myself). We ran her ragged, but she took great care of us and never lost her smile or her enthusiasm. Thank you Robin!
The highlight of the evening was the singing of “Happy Birthday” to Lisa on the occasion of her 21st birthday (or was it 18th?). The piano player accompanied and the whole bar joined in.
The only negative that I heard expressed about Big Shots was getting to the door. There is plenty of free parking in a parking garage just ½ block down the street, but for the more reserved, walking that ½ block was a bit unnerving. Right across the street is a park area and there were lots of people out and about. Of course I had decided to wear my new red minidress from Fredericks for the occasion and I thought I looked pretty hot. I just had to remind myself to walk carefully. Tripping on a high heel is always bad, but doing so in that dress and at that time would have been unfortunate.
Anyway, in spite of the somewhat exposed runway to the door, Big Shots was fun and it is another place I intend to return to soon.
*****
Before I close and let you return to your normally scheduled life, I would like to comment on an interesting (well, interesting to me at least) question of language. And that is the use of the term “guys”, as in “I just wanted to tell you guys that . . .” Concern over the use of this term has come up several times recently, particularly from friends of our community who strive to be aware of our sensitivity to correct pronoun usage.
In my always humble (and unsolicited) opinion, there is nothing wrong with using this term when talking to any group of people (men, women, t-girls, t-men, etc.). It is a bit more casual and friendly than saying “you people” and not as regional as “y’all”. Certainly we (t-girls that is) love to be included in a group as “you ladies” or even “you girls”, but in a mixed group that doesn’t necessarily work either.
I think the key is that the term is being used as a form of address for a group, rather than as a label for individuals in that group.
So go ahead, say “you guys” as appropriate. Just don’t say “a bunch of guys in dresses” or I will be forced to hit you with my purse.

*****
Thoughts? Comments? Suggestions? Please send to me at greercd@hotmail.com.

A Change of Label

We frequently talk about being on a voyage of personal discovery. We each take different routes, we may spend time in ports along the way, blah, blah, blah. It is a fine analogy although I tend to get a bit seasick on the open sea. I bring it up because I just realized that my attitude about myself has changed a bit, and I thought I would use this forum to make this change known. But let me digress for just a moment.

During an earlier part of my voyage (sorry), I considered myself to be a transvestite or TV. At that time, it was all about the clothing. Wearing the clothes was exciting and an end in itself. Over the last few years, I began to go out more and I realized that things had changed. It was no longer just about the clothes, but rather about being out while dressed. I then began to thing of myself as a crossdresser or CD.

Of course, things continue to change. Recently I have come to realize that I am no longer a male who is dressing or presenting as a female. I am actually somewhere in the middle on that spectrum that has "male" on one end and "female" on the other. I am not uncomfortable presenting and living as male, and I expect I will continue to do so for the majority of the time. But happiness in my life requires that I spend part of it presenting as female and enjoying that portion of my being that is feminine.

So, I have decided that crossdresser is no longer the appropriate term to apply to myself. I think for now that I will use the term T-girl. It sounds cute, and it implies a certain minimal level of experience and knowledge. Perhaps someday I will be wise enough to be a T-woman.

By the way, it might no longer be ALL about the clothes, but I love 'em! Shopping anyone?

Greer's Ramblings

The Primrose, August 2009

My very first parade was at the age of 19, when I was the Rose Queen for the Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. On the float I was surrounded by roses and by my royal court. I wore my tiara crown and waved at thousands of adoring fans as we made our way down Colorado Boulevard.
OK, so you aren’t buying that. Would you believe that my very first parade was the recent Pride Parade? Of course I have seen many parades, both in person and on television, but this was the first time that I was actually a participant. I rode on the CGS float, and I have to tell you, it was a fantastic experience! To make it even better, I was accompanied by my wonderfully supportive daughter.
The parade was scheduled to begin at noon, and we arrived in the area of Halsted and Diversey about 11:00. It was a beautiful day for a parade and everyone we encountered seemed happy and excited. When we found the CGS float, several members were in the process of adding some finishing touches. There wasn’t much left to be done, so we decided to stroll up Halsted to see what we could see (sort of like the bear and the mountain, only there was no bear, and no mountain).
We saw floats for commercial ventures, night clubs, radio stations, and all sorts of organizations. There was music blaring from all sides, and people of all descriptions were milling around. Now the theme for the CGS float was “Pride Colors”. So, I had worn a shirt that was pink with the pride color rainbow splashed across it, along with a yellow skirt (mini of course). After a while, I realized that I looked pretty average, perhaps even dull in comparison to many of the beautiful people on the parade route. Nevertheless, a nice lady stopped me and asked if she could have her picture taken with me. I stood about a head and a half taller than she. I imagine the photo is now in her album with the caption, “Me with an amazon tranny I met in Chicago.”
With the clock edging toward 12:00, we went back and took our places on the float. We made sure that we had on sun screen and we warmed up our waving arms (to avoid injuries you know). And then we waited. And we waited. And we waited. Gosh, the sun is nice, but it is getting warm. Any movement up ahead? No? So we waited. And we waited. And we waited.
To skip ahead for a moment, I understand that there were about 250 entries in the parade this year. The CGS float was number 121, so we were about in the middle of the pack. The parade officially started at noon at Belmont and Halsted. We didn’t begin moving until a bit after 1:00, and it took us almost 30 minutes to go the first half mile to Belmont (the official start point). The parade continued north on Halsted, then made a hard right and went south on Broadway to Diversey. There it turned left and went east to Lincoln Park and Cannon Drive. We travelled about 3 miles in 2 hours. Just like normal rush hour in Chicago!
Anyway, a little after 1:00, we saw movement ahead of us, and then it was time for us to move out! For the first block or two there a fair number of people watching from the sidewalk and from buildings along the route. But then, as we got closer to the official starting point, the crowds really starting getting larger. At the starting line, I could see that Belmont was wall-to-wall people for at least 2 whole blocks back from the parade route! It was amazing! All of these people were cheering and waving and yelling. I hope it doesn’t sound too sappy, but my daughter expressed it best when she said you could feel the love, and the pride. And to make it even better, the crowds and the cheering and the happiness continued for most of the parade. Absolutely fantastic!
Several of our members walked along with the float. They passed out stickers and coupons and generally encouraged the already enthusiastic attitude of the crowds. Jennifer had a contest going with herself to see how many Chicago PD officers would let her put a pride rainbow sticker on their uniforms. She told me that 21 officers accepted, and only one turned her down.
Riding on the float and waving at all the people who were yelling and smiling and waving and cheering, I couldn’t help but feel like they were cheering for me. In reality (a place I generally avoid), they were cheering for themselves, for their pride, and for the opportunity to publicly express that pride. It was a great day!
If you would like to see a bit of the parade from where I was sitting, go to my Flickr site at http://www.flickr.com/photos/39350149@N06/sets/ and select the 2009 Pride Parade photostream. The last item in that stream is a video clip I made during the parade.
*****
I recently made a visit to the Community Alliance & Action Network, better known as CAAN, at their community center in Joliet (http://www.caanmidwest.org/home.html). I went primarily to attend the initial meeting of a new TG support group that they are starting, but I thought I should take the opportunity to find out a bit more about the center and the organization.
My guides were our own Donna Greer (no relation) and Dave Sharp. Dave is the organizer of the support group and one of the driving forces of CAAN’s teen drop-in center that I will come back to later.
The CAAN community center is located right in the heart of downtown Joliet. This is a thriving metropolis that is known for it’s enlightened attitudes and highly visible and respected LGBT population. What? Not so much? Oh. Sorry, I must have been thinking of some other Utopia. Seriously, Joliet sure isn’t Boys Town, and the CAAN community center isn’t The Center on Halsted. But for the last 6 years, CAAN has been working to provide services and support to the members of the LGBTQ community in and around Joliet, and at the same time to provide some outreach to the community as a whole. A tip of the wig to them for their spirit and dedication.
I must admit to being somewhat apprehensive about visiting downtown Joliet on a Thursday evening. Of course I didn’t let that stop me from wearing a skirt and sleeveless blouse, but I did bow to a sense of caution and decorum and went for just above the knee rather than mid-thigh. I parked on the street just around the corner from the center, took a deep breath, and opened the door. I double-checked that I had my keys in my purse (and that I had my purse) before I locked the car door. As I walked toward the center, I passed several people including a family group with young kids. I can report that I had no bad vibes at all.
The CAAN community center is on the 4th floor of an older office building. There is no outside signage, so visitors will want to be sure they have the exact address. The door to the suite was open and I was immediately greeted by the smiling face of Donna Greer. Donna is 2nd Vice President of CAAN, a community activist, and founding member of the Island Girls. She gave me the grand tour of the center. The place isn’t big, but they have what they need to bring their services to the community. There is a reception area with helpful literature, a library (CAAN members can check materials out), an office, and a meeting room. Many of the walls have photos and bios of interesting people who have some relationship to the LGBT community.
Toward the end of the tour, we were joined by Dave Sharp. Dave is one of the leaders of the teen drop-in center and the coordinator for the new TG support group. The drop-in center is open one afternoon a week at the CAAN center. Dave told me that they average about 15 teens each week. He reports that most of the teens are questioning, and some just come because their friends do. I am pleased to report that Dave has offered me my first chance to do some outreach with this group. I will be talking to them about my experience as a t-girl. Assuming that I survive the experience, I think it will be very interesting. More on this next month.
By the time the tour was over, we were joined by a couple more people and we got on with the scheduled business of the evening, the new support group. It would be inappropriate for me to report on the content of our discussions, and you know that I am never inappropriate. All right, all right, other than in my choice of outfits I am never inappropriate. Yeah, yeah, and my occasional off-color comments, but apart from that I am never inappropriate. No, don’t even bring that up. What happens at Be All, stays at Be All. Moving on now.
Following our support group meeting, we adjourned to Maneuvers for a nightcap. I had heard that Maneuvers was the designated trans watering hole in Joliet, but I had never been inside. Apparently being a gay bar right across the street from the city’s baseball stadium caused some upstanding citizens a bit of heartburn, but from the outside, Maneuvers looks more like a little pizza place than a bar, let alone a gay bar. Inside, the place looks pretty much like any other neighborhood bar. The other patrons didn’t pay much attention to us when we walked in, but the bartender was cheerful and very nice. I didn’t go up, but I understand that there is a dance floor upstairs where a DJ or other acts entertain on weekends.
All things considered, if you find yourself in Joliet, Maneuvers is a comfortable place to spend some quality time with the beverage of your choice, and it is just a few blocks from CAAN.
*****
I attended my first CGS Garden Party in July. Well actually it was my first garden party at all, unless of course you count listening to Ricky Nelson, but probably not since that wasn’t really a garden, it was more of an arena, but I digress. Many thanks to Julie Johnson for opening her home for the party. The weather was quite nice, (apart from a few bugs), the food was good, the drinks were good, and the company was excellent. My only complaint was the dance floor. Asphalt, heels and the twist just don’t work well together. By the way, be sure to ask former Pres Katie where she carries her cell phone when not carrying a purse.
*****
I want to throw in a little plug for a couple of upcoming events involving our friends at Tall Girl Shops. First, they will be having a special shopping night for us at the store in Schaumburg on Saturday, August 22, from 6:00 to 9:00. The store will be open to the public until 7:00, but after that it will be just us and a whole store full of goodies! For anyone who is reluctant to mingle with the general public, come after 7:00 and you can change at the store. If you wish to attend, please RSVP to Kathy at kathystolarek@yahoo.com or call the store at 847-413-8631.
Next, at the CGS meeting on September 8, Tall Girl will be presenting a fashion show, and we get to be the models! If you are interested in being a model, you need to contact VP Christine Heermann (or me if you can’t reach Christine). You will be asked to attend the shopping night on August 22 for outfit selection and fitting. If you want to participate, but can’t make the shopping night, arrangements can be made for a fitting at another time or at the Chicago store.
OK? Have you got all that? If you have any questions, contact Christine or myself.
*****
Thoughts? Comments? Suggestions? Please send to me at greercd@hotmail.com.
Greer’s Ramblings can also be seen online at http://greercd.blogspot.com/

Greer's Ramblings

The Primrose, July 2009

As I sit thinking about my 5 days at Be All this year, I am tempted to draw a comparison to the fabled Woodstock music festival. Music, love, fun . . . but wait, that was 40 years ago (August 1969). We all know that I am not old enough to have even heard of it, so forget it was ever mentioned. Here, look into this flashy thing and you will forget having read this paragraph . . .
Hi, welcome to my column! Last year, Be All 2008 was a wonderful experience. I made some very special new friends, danced a lot, drank a bit, and just completely enjoyed being able to devote myself fully to my femme side for 3 days. Recently, I had moments when I worried that perhaps the planets were all in alignment last year, and that it might not be as special this year. Well, I shouldn’t have worried. Be All 2009 was fantastic! In the following paragraphs, I will share my experiences and my perspective of this event. Feel free to take your stimulant/depressant of choice to enhance your enjoyment of my ramblings.
In a sense, Be All 2009 started for me at the end of Be All 2008. At that time, I decided that I just had to come back again. I also decided that I had to be there from the beginning and not arrive late in the week. I think it was also about that time that I started thinking about what I should wear. More clothes! I need more clothes!
The one outfit that I thought the most about was a bathing suit. I had no intention of going in the water of course, but I was determined to find something to wear to the luau that would be cute and wouldn’t cause the poi to go bad. When I actually began shopping, I quickly experienced bathing suit sticker shock. Why is it that the less material that is included, the more it costs? In the end, my daughter unknowingly pointed the way. She mentioned that Old Navy had some great prices, and she was right. I was able to mix-and-match a tankini top and bikini bottom for $25. Unfortunately, they don’t have dressing rooms. Fortunately, they have a very easy return policy.
The bikini bottom that I started with was cute in the extreme. It was black (helps to hide . . . uh, you know), fairly small (blush), and with side ties (I guess that made it a string bikini, oh my). The side ties were the problem. To present my girlish best (and to hide . . . uh, you know), I needed to wear the appropriate garment underneath (more blush). The side ties were insufficient to cover the sides of my undergarment (why am I telling you this?). So the bottoms went back to Old Navy to be exchanged for a basic bikini bottom. Stupidly, I got an extra large, mostly because that was the size of the top. Not too bright. Back to Old Navy for exchange #2. Considering how huge the extra large was on me, I went for a medium. Are we surprised to hear that these were too small? What a sap! Anyway, exchange #3 finally left me with a bikini bottom that I could wear with some degree of confidence. Of course I covered it with a short wrap skirt, and almost no one saw the bikini bottom anyway. But darn it, I wore it!
On Sunday before the official Be All kickoff, I had an appointment with Gina, my favorite esthetician for a full body wax. I decided it was bad enough that I would have to shave my face twice a day for the duration, I didn’t want to have to devote the time necessary to deforest my body every day too. So, Gina tore out all of those little hair follicles from my skin. I love the smoothness of the skin after being waxed. I also love the pretty red welts I get all over my body. Fortunately, they only last a day or two. If you haven’t done it, full body waxing sounds painful. But if you have it done by someone who is skilled and quick, the process isn’t bad once you learn to relax and just go with it. It’s like a zen thing. You know, first she pulls the hair off and zen you scream.
I had to go into work Monday morning, but about noon, my vacation began. My good friend Erica was flying in from the twin cities that afternoon. After picking her up and getting her checked into the hotel, we went out to dinner with my wife and daughter. We had a great time, but I was in drab and terribly jealous of the lovely ladies. Besides, they picked on me!
Tuesday morning, finally arrived! My wife and daughter were heading to Boston for the week, so I first drove them to the airport, and then dashed home to pack and dress. My philosophy on packing this year was “If there is a chance I will wear it, bring it!” The result was 2 large suitcases, 2 smaller suitcases, a couple of smaller bags, and the laptop. Fortunately the trunk on the t-car is large. Oh, it’s actually a new Taurus, but Erica christened it the t-car. I like it!
Erica and I had 1:00 appointments at Mario Tricoci for manicures and pedicures. It was my first time for such treatment, and I must say that it was delightful. Apart from the obvious pleasure of having someone pamper you, I have never been able to do my nails so beautifully. I have since had to remove the fingernail polish, but as of 3 weeks later, my toenails are still gloriously red!
After a bit of shopping (see above for Old Navy exchange #3), it was time to check in to the hotel and unpack. Of course I first had to get my luggage to my room, and that made my back ache just thinking about it. Dear Erica went inside and wiggled her rear or something, because she quickly returned with the marvelous and macho Vincent. Vincent didn’t even bother with a luggage cart or suitcase wheels. He just picked everything up and whisked it away and up to my room. Thank you Vincent!
Once everything was unpacked, I found that I had filled the closet, filled the 6-drawer dresser, and filled the floor and shelf of the closet with shoes. My jewelry and wigs covered the top of the dresser, my makeup covered the top of the bedroom table, and my laptop and conference papers covered the top of the desk. I was ready to party! Oops, not quite yet. First I had to complete my daily afternoon ritual of removing part of my makeup, shaving for the second time of the day, and reapplying my makeup. This ritual also involves one of my obligatory outfit changes. Then I was ready to party!
Speaking of outfit changes . . . It was my intention to wear at least 3 different outfits each day, more if possible. I am happy to report that I met this goal, and managed to surpass it on several days. Ah, it is nice to be able to report positively about solid and important accomplishments. I should have such results at work!
My first stop was the hospitality suite. This was a very important stop because that night the bar was hosted by our friends at Sidetrack. Thank you Sidetrack! After meeting, chatting and drinking for a while, we were off to dinner. Lexi and Luna of Chicago Illusions had engineered a group dinner, and about 10 of us piled into the Doubletree van and headed off to D.O.C. Wine Bar at Yorktown Mall. This place is a personal favorite of mine and I think a good time was had by all. It was my distinct pleasure to sit beside Lady Celeste, also of Chicago Illusions. Delightful!
After dinner, I was reminded that Chicago weather is always unpredictable, even in June. I had worn a short dress (surprise!) and I was trying to be fashionable by not wearing hosiery. Ah, the wind was a bit nippy as we waited for the hotel van (and waited, and waited, and waited . . .)
Hmm, according to the word count tool on my trusty word processor, I have already used almost 1,500 of my allotted 2,000 words for this column. Yikes! I’ve only gotten through the first half day! Any self-respecting writer would go back and edit what was already written as part of an overall plan to provide the reader with . . . blah, blah, blah. Since that sounds like a lot of work, I am just going to shift gears and tell you about the highlights of the week.
The hotel itself was wonderful. All the rooms were suites, so there was a kitchenette and plenty of room to spread out. Having the vendor area in the atrium gave it a small town feel. You could sit at a table in the center chatting with friends, stroll over to the cafe for a donut, then wander into one of the little shops. All of this without having to be concerned about the weather. Makes me want to sing Camelot! To bad I can’t sing. I should also mention that the members of the hotel staff were great. Universally friendly and helpful.
I heard very positive comments about the seminars, but I hereby humbly confess that I did not attend a single one. My intentions were good. I had studied the schedule and noted the seminar I wanted to attend in each time slot. However, staying up late every night caused me to sleep in (sort of) every morning, then there were late lunches and emergency shopping trips. I throw myself on the mercy of the court.
The keynote presentation by Les and Leith was delightful. They make the cutest couple. The humor was great, but the love and affection that they share really got to me. I felt blessed that they shared those feelings with us.
The “pool” party was fun although having an actual pool would have been nice. Unfortunately, the weather made it prudent to move the party indoors to avoid ice forming on bare skin, especially on those of us in pool attire. (After all the effort that went into getting the darn swimsuit, I was sure as heck going to wear it!)
I must mention that in my soul, I am a foxtrot/tango kind of girl. But since no handsome gentleman asked me to dance on the very rare occasion that such music was played, I throughly enjoyed dancing to whatever was fast and rhythmic (I gave it a 65 because it has a good beat . . .) My first opportunity for dancing during Be All was at the party at the North Beach Club (thank you Dr. Z!). In spite of the permanent damage done to my ears (thank you Stevie!), it was a great party. One very special moment came when my new friend Sharon gave in to the music, put aside her remaining inhibitions, took off her jacket and embraced being a girl. It was a wonderful thing to see.
Oops! The stage manager is signaling that I am almost out of time, and I haven’t even mentioned the fashion show (that was me that came out first), dinner/theater at Tommy Guns, the variety show, the fabulous fireworks, or so many of the other things that made Be All such a special event.
Overall, the absolute best part of Be All for me was reconnecting with old friends and making new ones. The worst part? That would be parting from those friends and going home on Sunday. Perhaps the committee can find a way to avoid having it end next year?

*****Thoughts? Comments? Suggestions? Please send to me at greercd@hotmail.com

A Visit to Chicago Illusions

[This is the piece that I originally submitted for the June issue of The Primrose. We went through several rewrites before it was ultimately rejected for publication. See below for what was actually published.]

“The plane! The plane! Gee Boss, what are you wearing?”
“Shut up Tattoo, I don’t want to attract attention to the fact that today my white suit includes a cute pencil skirt rather than trousers. And please, call me Miss Boss.”
That’s right, this month I want to talk about fantasy, and a place where fantasies can come true. No, not at a mythical island in the South Pacific, but at an unassuming building just west of the Loop in Chicago.
Several months back, those in attendance at the monthly CGS business meeting were treated to a play that was written and produced by some of the very special ladies of Chicago Illusions. The stars included these ladies along with the officers and members of CGS. I am certain that everyone present would agree that the play was a high point of 2008. It might also be the only chance we will ever have of seeing Sheila D in a strait jacket or of hearing a crowd chanting for Jackie to show her panties (well, THAT could happen again I suppose, in fact, it could be a good program idea Christine).
In the months prior to the play, it had been my great pleasure to meet some of the Chicago Illusions ladies at Be All and CGS functions. But I really did not have a clear picture of what Chicago Illusions was all about. After seeing the play, I decided that I would like to learn more, and that I would like to share what I might learn with you. Lexi, the founder and Head Mistress at Chicago Illusions, was very receptive to the idea of giving me a tour and an interview, and we made arrangements to meet. Sadly, personal circumstances curtailed Lexi’s availability for several months. Then Senior Mistress Luna jumped in and volunteered to be my tour guide and interview focus. So, dear readers, let me tell you about my recent visit to Chicago Illusions!
The first stop for any visitor to Chicago Illusions should be their web site (http://www.chicagoillusions.com/). Do note that if your business uses filters to prevent access to adult-themed sites, you might have to wait until you get home (of course I only heard about this from other slackards who web surf when they should be working). The web site provides a basic description of some of the types of fantasies that Chicago Illusions can help a visitor explore. The site also introduces the visitor to some of the people that make Chicago Illusions the special place that it is. What the site does NOT say is exactly where they are located. So, you will need to make a call to set up your visit.
I arrived in the area well in advance of the agreed time (3 minutes). As I had been told, there was plenty of street parking around the building. Unfortunately, all of the parking spaces were filled with cars that didn’t seem to understand that I had a very important appointment! After circling the area 3 times, I was able to snag a spot about 2 blocks away. Happily, the street parking is free in the area, so I didn’t need the sack of quarters that I carefully laid out at home, and proceeded to forget to bring with me. I used the 2 blocks between my car and building to practice swaying my hips, negotiating puddles, and walking in heels on uneven pavement. I was wearing my dark brown outfit, that I felt conveyed my status as enthusiastic yet vulnerable young reporter. Surprising on one I’m sure, the skirt was short and form fitting.
Turning onto the semi-busy street that contained my destination, I began looking for the right door. I had the street number and I had been told what to look for on the door (it doesn’t say “Lexi’s Whips Are Us”), but I still managed to walk right past it. I heard a door click behind me. I turned and retraced my steps and the door clicked again. I pushed the door open and was greeted by the open arms of Mistress Luna!
The security arrangements at Chicago Illusions start with a camera above the front door. So, several of the staff were watching my approach, and no doubt laughing hysterically as I tried to find the door. Hmm, they didn’t tell me what they thought of my walk. Anyway, the entering guest finds a very nice reception area and a warm welcome. Typically, a guest would first meet privately with a member of the staff to discuss the guest’s needs and other important matters like safe words and signs. For me, there was to be no such rest, for my tour involved climbing up and down endless stairs, probably with the intention of wearing me out so I couldn’t ask too many questions. In fact, let me rest for a moment now and giving you some overall impressions and information before we begin the tour itself.
Chicago Illusions has been in business for 17 years. They proudly display their City of Chicago business license, and they are an integral part of their local community. They make an effort to be somewhat unobtrusive, so guests are very rarely thrown out onto the street bound, gagged and naked. I suspect that many of their neighbors have no idea that their neighbor is known as the Premier Dungeon of the Midwest. There certainly are no signs to advertise their presence.
The whole idea is to provide a very safe and discrete setting for making fantasies come true. As my tour moved from room to room, there was always a positive check to ensure that the way ahead was clear of any other guests. Unless arrangements are made to meet with another guest, the only people that a guest will encounter are members of the staff. Very discrete. I should also mention that the staff is obviously very concerned about keeping the building, the furnishings and the equipment clean and well maintained. The place was spotless. I didn’t ask, but I wonder if they keep cleaning costs down by using slaves? Hmm.
On with the tour and with some introductions! As I mentioned, I was initially greeted by Senior Mistress Luna, who was to be my principal tour guide, and by Miss Lola who was in charge of the reception desk.
I must digress for just a moment before I continue with introductions. By all that is good and right, I should attempt to convey the individual beauty, charm, and infectious enthusiasm that I saw in every single one of the wonderful ladies that I met at Chicago Illusions. Unfortunately, my talents as a writer, and the space allotted to me by our beloved editor-published, are insufficient for the task. I pray you and the ladies will forgive me for not providing more superlatives in the introductions (except for Luna, about who I am about to gush, and one other particular person whom you will meet shortly).
As the tour begins, I follow Mistress Luna down to the basement. As for gushing, I hope I will be forgiven for saying that it would always be a pleasure to follow Mistress Luna, but in the gold gown that she was wearing that day, it was particularly delightful. Anyway, on to the basement.
Ah! This I suspected would be the location for the most diabolical of bondage and torture devices! Dripping ceilings and cold stone walls to contain the screams of the unwary who wandered in. Well, not so much. In a space planning and decorating decision that must be fiendishly clever (because I don’t get it), the basement holds the nursery and the school room. Go figure.
Before inspecting these seemingly ill-placed rooms, we entered the one room in the basement that truly seems to fit the basement image. This room is dubbed the “suspension” room. The central piece of equipment here is a chain hoist that could probably be used to pull the engine out of a muscle car. This hoist is permanently mounted through the ceiling and, one assumes, to strong structural elements of the building. It sounds perfect for my Tinkerbell fantasies! Alas, we moved on to the next room by walking rather than flying.
Outside the nursery I met Mistress Noelle. She is fairly new to Chicago Illusions, but as a fan of my writings in spite of her education (poor deluded girl) she deserves special recognition (Hi Noelle!). Inside, the nursery is equipped as a child’s bedroom. A small bed, a toy chest, diaper changing table, bondage device on the wall . . . what? Your child’s room doesn’t have a bondage device on the wall? Well our motto was always “spare the restraints and thumbscrews, spoil the child”. I was told that this room appeals to those who would like to have a chance to go back and relive their early days.
Since it was occupied during our initial visit to the basement, I didn’t actually see the school room until the end of the tour, but I shall mention it now so that you will be less confused than I was/am (this disclaimer made because of my high journalistic standards and integrity – note how I said that with a straight face). The school room is equipped with a desk, bookshelves, blackboard, cage, and a bondage device on the wall (see above, same basic motto). This room is used for any number of teacher/student scenarios. It is also used as an office setting for things like secretary/boss interactions. Here I met Mistress Leona, who thoughtfully took some photos of me trying to look like a teacher. I should mention that not enough of my teachers wore short skirts and perched on the edge of their desks.
Next, I followed Mistress Luna up 3 flights of stairs to the 3rd floor kitchen (see comment above about following Mistress Luna, but greatly increase emphasis as a result of following her UP the stairs). Fortunately, we stopped there for some introductions because I seem to have skipped my stairmaster workouts for the last 30 years (sorry, make that 5 years since I’m only 25) and someone had sucked the oxygen out of the air around me. While recovering, I was introduced to Mistress Gianna, who is another recent addition to the staff.
At this time, Head Mistress Lexi joined us long enough to add another participant to the tour. Mistress Lexi explained that Sophie is her slavegirl, and that Mistress Luna could use her to demonstrate some of the facilities. In a very soft voice, Miss Sophie asked Mistress Lexi if she could greet their guest (meaning me). When given permission, Miss Sophie knelt down at my feet, spread her arms to her sides, and bowed her head. I truly don’t recall that last time a beautiful woman did that for me. Oh, that’s because they never did! Having no idea how one should properly respond to such a greeting, I am certain that I stammered and stuttered like an idiot. When she rose, my power of speech seemed to return, and I was able to absorb a few more details. I found out later that Miss Sophie is also a member of the staff, but where the other ladies I met were garbed in gowns or other finery, Miss Sophie wore a short, black skirt, black boots, stockings with exposed garters, a sleeveless black crop top, and a collar with leash attached.
Mistress Luna accepted the leash from Mistress Lexi, and we headed off to see the 3rd floor. There was a moment of logistical confusion at the door to the first room. Mistress Luna was leading the way and holding Miss Sophie’s leash. Miss Sophie graciously (and properly for a slave) waved me through the door ahead of her. Oops! The leash was a bit short for that to work well, but after a bit of fumbling we made it into the room.
I didn’t find out if there is a formal name for this room, so I will just call it the bondage room. The prominent features of the room are a 7 foot diameter, upright wheel and a device that everyone would recognize as a rack (as in torture, not as in spice). The wheel allows the participant to be attached in spread-eagle fashion, and then be rotated like a wagon wheel to an inverted position (I might loose my lunch if I think too much about that). The rack features stationary cuffs for the feet, and a turnable drum where cuffs for the hands can be attached and tightened. Do you suppose that’s why so many of the ladies at Chicago Illusions are tall?
The room also features a rather small cage (large enough for Miss Sophie I was told but not shown), and a trio of devices that Mistress Luna demonstrated using Miss Sophie as the center of attention. The first was a stock that held Miss Sophie’s head and arms securely so that Mistress Luna could administer some punishment to Sophie’s undefended derriere (Miss Sophie counted as she was lashed, and I do believe I heard a contented moan as well). Next was a device that I was told is occasionally used for serving appetizers at parties. The unit is essentially a box on wheels with a bottom, open sides and a lockable, two-part, hinged top with neck sized opening. Miss Sophie sat on the bottom shelf and just her head showed out of the top. I understand that the appetizers are placed on the table top around the head for the enjoyment and amusement of guests. The last device was a diabolical device, but only effective for those with male equipment. The device was shaped like a chair, except the lucky participant would sit backwards with his legs on either side of the back. Strategically placed in the center of the back was an opening with a sliding door that could be clamped in place to hold the aforementioned male equipment. If I weren’t a girl it would make me shudder. Miss Sophie demonstrated the position of the participant, but she was not equipped to demonstrate the use of the restraint.
As we prepared to move to the next room on the tour, Mistress Luna handed Miss Sophie’s leash to me so that we might avoid additional problems going through doors. I accepted, although being a submissive in my heart, I found the role of dominant to be a bit uncomfortable, even if it just meant holding the leash.
Our next stop was the medical room. The focus of this room was a regulation hospital gurney. Mistress Lexi joined us long enough to point out that this particular item is a particular favorite of Mistress Luna, who apparently has more than one of her own at home. Hmmm, perhaps she runs a charity clinic in her off hours? I was invited to lay down on the gurney to see just how comfortable it was. Now I must admit that I hesitated. Once on the gurney, would Mistress Luna force me to undergo some undefined, but worrisome, medical procedure? What the heck, I climbed on and reclined on the gurney. In the movies, I would have been instantly restrained, and an evil smile would have crossed Mistress Luna’s face. An equally devilish Miss Sophie would have said something like, “May I get the knives now Mistress?” Instead, she squealed with delight when my short skirt rode up revealing that I was wearing thigh-highs and black panties. Of course I feigned embarrassment, but I doubt that anyone was fooled.
Rising from the gurney with all of my organs still in place (no wisecracks please), I took leash in hand and we set off for the last room on the 3rd floor. This might best be described as the bondage bedroom. It contained a very comfortable water bed that was conveniently equipped with eye bolts around the headboard as well as on the wall above and around the bed. There was a large board in the rough shape of a person. All around the perimeter of the board were eye bolts so that a lucky participant could be lashed down much like Gulliver in the land of the Liliputians. There was also a device that I will call a bondage chair. At Mistress Luna’s direction, Miss Sophie happily demonstrated how one sits on the chair and then can have her arms secured either outstretched to the sides or above her head. There was a bit of short-skirt payback when Miss Sophie was required to spread her legs to be secured to the chair, thus exposing her own unmentionables. Like me, she pretended to be embarrassed.
We then moved down to the 2nd floor. Here we found a wonderful open space in the front of the building that includes another kitchen and a large living room area. But before we could enjoy the living room, we headed down the hall to the spa.
The spa room contains a beautiful old barber chair where guests can sit for makeovers, facials, and so on. There is also a manicure station and a pedicure chair. The room has shelves filled with wigs and various beauty products. Sounds wonderful doesn’t it? Well just wait until you go next door. There we find a bedroom with a large closet that is just filled with clothes and shoes. Close the door honey, it is time to try on clothes! Miss Lola tore herself away from the front desk to pose for a picture with Mistress Luna and the cornucopia of goodies. Alas, our schedule did not allow time to truly appreciate this treasure trove of sparkly, frilly and sexy things. Sigh.
Back in the living room we were joined by Lady Celeste, Mistress Gianna, and Mistress Noelle for some photos and a bit of chatting. Unfortunately, it was discovered that I had a run in my stocking, and it was deemed appropriate that Miss Sophie should be punished for allowing this to happen while admiring my legs. Mistress Luna administered 10 spanks as Miss Sophie bent over a chair (she was innocent of the alleged infraction, but enjoyed the punishment too much to protest).
Sadly, that was the end of the tour. Happily, I was asked to join Mistress Luna and Miss Sophie at Pops For Champagne to conclude the interview and to top off a wonderful visit. I took my leave of all the other wonderful ladies of Chicago Illusions and we made our way to State and Ohio for a bit of the bubbly.
I should mention that both Luna and Sophie changed for the visit to Pops. They ceased to be Mistress and Slave Girl, and reverted to being the beautiful and sexy ladies who make me extraordinarily jealous!
As we sipped champagne and flirted with the waiter (he liked Luna’s taste in oysters, but I think he was more attracted to me), Luna told me about meeting Lexi around 8 years ago. Recognizing that they were kindred spirits, they became friends. A year or so later, Luna joined Chicago Illusions. Much as Sophie is doing now, Luna passed through a period of slave training herself before being accepted as a Mistress. She confessed that she was much more stubborn and difficult to train than Sophie has been.
There remained a couple of topics that I was reluctant to bring up, but which Luna was happy to discuss. These are money and sex. To be a guest at Chicago Illusions, you need the former, but don’t expect the latter. The staff at Chicago Illusions are Mistresses (and one Master) of fantasy, and they will help the guest to fulfill their fantasies, but any sexual contact will be mental, not physical.
Based upon your needs in terms of time, staff and facilities, you will be asked to provide a “tribute” in an appropriate (and not insignificant) amount. For those of us who, to paraphrase Robin Leach, have champagne fantasies and tonic water budgets, visits to Chicago Illusions are not likely to be frequent occurrences (rats!). But it would certainly be a great way to celebrate a special occasion or to spend that inheritance you don’t know what to do with.
On a personal note, I would like to say that I had a thoroughly wonderful time visiting Chicago Illusions. I was welcomed as a friend and a sister by everyone that I met, and I extend my thanks to all of you all being so very gracious. Special thanks to Lexi and Luna for devoting your time to the tour and for the excellent champagne! Finally, extra special thanks to Miss Sophie who was a delight and who liked my legs (maybe I can be YOUR slave girl one day).

*****
Thoughts? Comments? Suggestions? Please send to me at greercd@hotmail.com.

Greer's Ramblings

The Primrose, June 2009

[There was a bit of an editorial difference of opinion about the column that I wrote for the June Primrose. The final decision to not print the column was made too late for me to put together anything substantial, so this is what I submitted and was published.]

First an important correction – The photo with my column last month incorrectly identified the lovely lass on my right (your left). Actually this was the always delightful Gina, and we apologize for the error. We promise that such an error will never happen again, at least until it does, and then we will be sorry again.

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Speaking of being sorry, you will note that my column is short this month. OK, that’s an overstatement. It’s actually darn near non-existent. I had a story in mind, but that fell through, and in my excitement about the upcoming Be All, nothing else got done. That seems to be the story of my life these days. I understand they have added my photo to the Wikipedia entry for “sloth”.
Next month I am sure to bore you with tales of the Be All, so I hope you will come back and see what kind of tripe and dribble I can come up with. Until then, happy birthday to Jefferson Davis (6/3/1808) and George Bush the elder (6/12/1924), happy Flag Day, and happy Father’s Day/first day of summer.

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Thoughts? Comments? Suggestions? Please send to me at greercd@hotmail.com.

Greer's Ramblings

The Primrose, May 2009

This month my ramblings will be more mental than physical. Fear not, dear reader. I have been getting out and about, and very much enjoying my opportunities to do so. However, none of my travels over the last few weeks have been such that I can generate 2,000 words to describe them. At least not 2,000 words that you would want to devote time to reading. Of course there is the question of why you would ever want to devote time to my rambling words, but we shall save the discussion of such mental aberrations for another time. For now, let us ramble through some random thoughts together. Do be sure to watch your step, avoid steaming divots, mind the gap, don’t run in the parking lot, and keep your arms and legs inside while the ramble is in motion.
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The April business meeting of CGS saw the annual exercise of democracy in action. While my membership in CGS began just before the 2008 election, I was not present for that event. So the 2009 event was a new and exciting occasion for me. I shall leave it to the sober and mentally stable members of The Primrose staff to report the important details, and I will confine myself to bits of related fluff and nonsense that might pop into my head. Actually, there is plenty of space in my head for fluff and nonsense. That’s because I employ a special archive filtering mechanism that routinely deletes anything that might be wasting precious memory space, like my name, where I left my car, and whatever it was I was talking about. What?
Apart from the election itself, the main focus of the April meeting was pizza. Now based strictly on the appearance of our group, a casual observer might expect us to prefer a nice salad which we would pick at while sipping a chilled white wine. Surprise! A good rule to remember is that it can be very dangerous to stand between us and the food. It didn’t take long for the pizza and the delicious kringle to be devoured, with the exception of that one pizza. That one sad and misunderstood pizza. The pizza that caused Gina and I to conduct an exhaustive and scientific opinion poll in which we found that 100% of the two of us cannot understand why anyone would want to eat little fish on pizza.
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Speaking of people who like little fish on pizza, I was thinking about what it is going to be like to be at a CGS meeting without Katie presiding. I know that Jackie will do a wonderful job leading us, but I am a bit thrown by the image of Katie just being one of US! Where will she sit? Will she sit in the front row and be quiet and attentive, or will she sit way in the back of the room and be a persistent heckler? Without the responsibilities of office, will she sink into the pits of little fish addiction? Will Shirley have to make embarrassed excuses for the fish scales clinging to her lips? Will Katie continue to be the model of age-appropriate fashion, or will she finally wear that see-through miniskirt that she has been saving for a special occasion? Will she begin borrowing from my wardrobe? Will she ever find out that Shirley is occasionally seen in the company of an older man, always when Katie isn’t around? Time will reveal the answers to these perplexing questions, but for now, let us move away from the image of Katie snacking from a pail of little fish while wearing a tarty little miniskirt (Katie wearing the miniskirt, not the little fish).
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And now, buried here where no one will ever find it, I would like to add my own little “thank you” to Katie. Thank you for helping to make CGS an organization that I truly enjoy. Thank you for being a warm, open, and welcoming human being. Thank you for being an excellent role model. Thank you for helping me to accept that I should dress for my age, at least some of the time. Thank you for appreciating it when I wear a mini in spite of my age. Thank you for sharing yourself with us.
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On a more serious note (really), I suppose I was not alone in being very pleasantly surprised by the recent Iowa Supreme Court ruling that overturned the ban on same-sex marriage in that state. I was particularly struck by the statements that read, “We are firmly convinced that the exclusion of gay and lesbian people from the institution of civil marriage does not substantially further any important governmental objective”, and, “Our constitution does not permit any branch of government to resolve these types of religious debates and entrusts to courts the task of ensuring that government avoids them”. I was further struck by the fact that the ruling was agreed to by all seven members of the court. I will hope that this type of rational thinking continues to spread throughout our society. For now, I continue to wonder how the marriage of any two loving people has a negative impact on someone else’s marriage, or how it erodes someone else’s family values. I also wonder how it is that people seem to forget that our core principles are supposed to be about protecting the rights of everyone, not about imposing the beliefs of the majority on everyone.
Now that I have used up my quota of words that can be devoted to serious subjects, let us return to my usual light-hearted rambling.
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Why is that when we immerse ourselves in water for a prolonged period of time (for example a pool, hot tub, or immense martini glass at a naughty motel), our skin tends to become wrinkled (more than usual) or “pruney”. But, when a prune is immersed in water for a prolonged period of time, it gets smooth. Perhaps “peopley”?
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Have I mentioned that I am 50% Scottish? I think that means that I love to spend money, but I hate myself later for doing it. More to the point, it means I can (and do) lay claim to the right to wear the national costume of Scotland, the kilt. I own a kilt and I wear it to occasional Scottish and formal events. It is important to note that wearing a kilt is nothing like wearing a femme skirt. To begin with, the thing contains 8 yards of 13 oz. wool, and it weighs about 80 pounds (well, maybe a little less, but it is pretty heavy). Normally, one wears knee-length wool socks with the kilt, and of course it is traditional to allow the breeze to blow through unhampered by undergarments (apart from the Scottish regiments, the undergarment question is a matter of personal choice, and one just doesn’t ask). The end result can be a real itch-fest, especially when it is warm.
Now quite distinct from the true kilt, which is traditionally worn only by men, there are the delightful kilted skirts for women made of beautiful tartan plaids. You have probably seen women wearing these wonderful skirts in all lengths, from floor length all the way up to the reason I brought this topic up to begin with.
Last weekend I had lunch at a new pub that just opened in Woodridge (in the Seven Bridges area) called The Tilted Kilt. The food and the locally brewed lager were quite good, but it is the server’s uniforms that I would like to mention. I must admit to loving and being extremely jealous of the adorable little kilts that the servers wear. I want one! Of course I couldn’t wear it with bare midriff as they do (not a pretty sight; me with a bare midriff that is), and rather than white knee socks, I would probably go with suntan thigh-highs, and the chunky heels would have to be replaced with stilettos, and . . . well, you understand I’m sure. We end up with the counterpoint to the traditional masculine highlander. The totally age-inappropriate microminiskirted t-t-girl (that’s tarty t-girl). Come to think of it, I already have such a skirt hiding in the back of my closet. I guess I had forgotten because when I wear it I don’t look anything like the 20-something servers at the Tilted Kilt. Sigh.
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Hey, I received a telephone call from Lisa “the devil woman” at Tall Girl shop. It seems that the delightful little black and white dress that I resisted buying last time is now on sale. Ah ha! That’s one for Greer! Patience and a frugal attitude paid off. But wait, someone might buy it before I get there! Eh gads! Quick, warm up the t-car while I put on my face, it’s time for a shopping trip!
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Note to readers: sorry, I am unable to refund the time that you have just wasted while reading my pointless ramblings. However, I can offer you a store credit that will allow you to read next month’s column in half the time!
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Thoughts? Comments? Suggestions? Please send to me at greercd@hotmail.com.